I left SBAK because I needed more time at home. A full time (or more) job and three kids is tough enough, but adding in Spina Bifida and anxiety issues just put things over the edge. I had such an amazing time working at SBAK, but our life was too busy, our house was chaotic, and I always felt pulled in multiple directions. People ask me often if I miss working at SBAK. Yes, of course. I miss the people I worked with, the families I got to know so well, and the excitement of doing big things. But it was absolutely the right choice, and I have zero regrets about it.
My goal for staying home was to bring peace to our home and family. Just removing my daily commute from our schedule made a huge change in my stress level and attitude with everyone else. I do not miss the knot in my stomach trying to get home by a certain time and getting stuck in traffic on I-65 every single day. I'm spending much more time with Bo, which is much needed because I went back to work when he was 5 weeks old. I have always hated waking a sleeping baby to take them to daycare. Now Bo sleeps as late as he wants--which is often 10 am! Most days, no rush to get up and go anywhere. And I'm home when the kids get home from school, usually meeting them at the bus stop and walking home with them to hear about their days. I love this so much!
My big project this year was reorganizing and redecorating the first floor of our house. We have lived in this house for 7 years, and although we had done some work on the kitchen and this and that, it looked pretty much the same as when we moved in. I was tired of the colors and curtains and pictures on the walls, but even more than that we needed to change a few things to make our house work better for our family. We had all the kids' toys in the basement, but they rarely went down there to play, so they just brought toys upstairs to play with and clutter up my living room! We decided to make our office in the front of the house a toy room. So we installed french doors and hard wood floors, had the whole first floor painted, chose new curtains and art for the walls, put together shelves and other new furniture, rearranged, and cleaned out all the clutter in each room. It was a big job, and it took me all year. But our house runs much more smoothly and works so much better for what our family looks like now. And it's pretty, and soothing, yet still loud and wild. Perfect.
Besides the redecorating and general child rearing, I continued my role as Vice Chair of the Commonwealth Council on Developmental Disabilities. We had our four quarterly 2-day meetings as well as a retreat to make our 5 year strategic plan. I love the work we do and the people I work with on the Council. I also attended a strategic planning meeting in Baltimore for the national Spina Bifida Association, which was thrilling and fun. I continue to serve on SBA's Field Relations Committee and Program Committee (although it didn't meet this year). And I was a speaker at the SBAK regional conference with a presentation about being a parent advocate. I continue to co-host the Spina Bifida Kids message board on Babycenter.com and lead the Take That Spina Bifida Facebook Group. And this year a friend and I started another Facebook Group called Bowel Management for Spina Bifida that has become a wonderful little resource for myself and more than 1,300 others! Although I don't get an income for any of this work (I do get a small stipend for my CCDD meetings), they give me so much joy and meaning, and they keep me quite busy! One of my biggest thrills of the year (and my life!) was seeing the Spina Bifida Information Act pass the Kentucky legislature. Although I had little to do with that bill, it was a long time dream, and I had the opportunity to testify for it. Just incredible.
People also ask me often how Blake felt about me leaving my job, and I have to say he was my biggest cheerleader. He knew that this was a decision that I had prayed about and felt certain that God wanted me to do, and he supported me 100%. He also saw the need for more peace and less chaos in our house and for our children, and he knew having me home would help our family more than my income. I think Blake might enjoy having me home more than anyone! Although I'm not the best homemaker by any means, I cook way more than I could when working, do a better job of keeping our house clean and running, and can take care of all the appointments without having to ask him to leave work. There are many benefits to a working parent of having a spouse at home!
Blake also had a big year! First of all, he had a lifelong dream come true. We went in with some friends and bought a used pop up camper! Seriously, he has been scheming a way to buy a camper since before we were married. We only had the chance to go camping in it once, but he was in heaven. We already have our camp site reserved for Memorial Day weekend. He has a New Year's resolution of camping at least 4 times.
The second big thing for Blake this year is that he got a new job! Blake has been a mortgage banker for 10 years, and he has worked at the same place (although different companies have taken over) for 7 years. Just before Thanksgiving, he was offered a job by loanDepot. After Thanksgiving he flew to Irvine, California, for two weeks of training, and when he got home he settled into his new office--in our basement! Blake is working from home now! (That was another home renovation I had to undertake, home alone with 3 kids right before Christmas!) We didn't know whether we'd kill each other or love it, and I guess it's a little of both. :) After the first day, we had to set some ground rules. No, you can't work 24 hours a day just because it's in the basement. Yes, I'll try to keep the dogs quieter so you can talk on the phone. But overall it's been wonderful. Blake really likes his boss, the company, and his work. He's working more hours yet spending more hours with the family thanks to a 10 second commute. I think it's hilarious that this time last year, neither of us were home much. And now both of us are home all day! It's one of those bizarre situations that you just know God has a plan for but you don't know what it is yet.
When I left my job, I had no idea that Nate would have two surgeries this year. I'm so glad I was able to devote so much of my time to his recoveries and all of those appointments. And not feel guilty being away from work so much. We started 2015 doing some tests to see if Nate's spinal cord was retethered. In January we got the news that everything looked stable, so we happily put it out of our minds. We went back to Vanderbilt in April just to retest a couple things, and it was very apparent that Nate did in fact need another detethering. I was terrified because of all of the complications after his detethering 3 years ago. But the surgery went perfectly and there were no complications this time around. His recovery went well but was slow. For a few months he walked much slower, and it took awhile for his body to return to normal. The fall cross country season definitely helped him regain his stamina, he shaved 3 minutes off his mile run, and he even set a PR! This fall when he went back to Vanderbilt for a follow up MRI, we decided to go ahead with a belly surgery that we had been considering for him. It will allow him to be more independent with his care in the future. The surgery went so amazingly well and the recovery was about a thousand times easier than we had anticipated. Nate is one tough little kid. Another milestone this year was that Nate got his first wheelchair. It's just for long distances, but Nate thinks it's as fun as a bike. :)
This year Nate finished 3rd grade very strong, qualified for the Advanced Program in 4th grade, and made proficient on both of his KPREP tests (was one point shy of distinguished in reading). Fourth grade has started out rough. Whereas he had perhaps a tad too much support last year, he had basically zero support at the beginning of this year. I've been working with the teachers and IEP team, and we don't have everything worked out just yet but there has been a little progress. BUT, this year I have made major breakthroughs in understand how Nate learns and why he acts the way he does. After much searching and shifting, we have assembled an amazing team of (non-sb) doctors and therapists for him--developmental pediatrician, psychologist, ABA, PT, OT, and three caregivers in our home--and not only have they taught me, but they have also listened to me and accepted and adopted what I've learned. Nate's behavior at home is so much better than it was at the beginning of the year. The biggest indicator of change is when I say, "Nate, please go (do whatever)" and instead of arguing with me, he GETS UP AND DOES IT. This is huge, and such improvement. I've learned how to communicate with him, and he has become less obstinate. School is still having a lot of behavior problems, but we are working on it. Once I really understood the reasons for his behavior, it was easier to help him.
Oh and lastly about Nate but certainly not least was that he was baptized! This summer I was going through a Bible study book with him, and he had some great questions. One night he asked how he could get Jesus in his heart, and we prayed! That Sunday Blake baptized him at our church. That was probably my favorite day of this year!
This year Nate finished 3rd grade very strong, qualified for the Advanced Program in 4th grade, and made proficient on both of his KPREP tests (was one point shy of distinguished in reading). Fourth grade has started out rough. Whereas he had perhaps a tad too much support last year, he had basically zero support at the beginning of this year. I've been working with the teachers and IEP team, and we don't have everything worked out just yet but there has been a little progress. BUT, this year I have made major breakthroughs in understand how Nate learns and why he acts the way he does. After much searching and shifting, we have assembled an amazing team of (non-sb) doctors and therapists for him--developmental pediatrician, psychologist, ABA, PT, OT, and three caregivers in our home--and not only have they taught me, but they have also listened to me and accepted and adopted what I've learned. Nate's behavior at home is so much better than it was at the beginning of the year. The biggest indicator of change is when I say, "Nate, please go (do whatever)" and instead of arguing with me, he GETS UP AND DOES IT. This is huge, and such improvement. I've learned how to communicate with him, and he has become less obstinate. School is still having a lot of behavior problems, but we are working on it. Once I really understood the reasons for his behavior, it was easier to help him.
Oh and lastly about Nate but certainly not least was that he was baptized! This summer I was going through a Bible study book with him, and he had some great questions. One night he asked how he could get Jesus in his heart, and we prayed! That Sunday Blake baptized him at our church. That was probably my favorite day of this year!
Georgia also advanced so much this year. Like Nate, Georgia also has anxiety, which causes her to be afraid of just about everything--dogs, new experiences, swimming, loud noises, so much. Georgia liked Kindergarten, but we had a lot of tough mornings of crying and fits, and I couldn't get her to try anything new. She really worked on it this year with the help of her doctor, and I saw Georgia really come out of her shell. Over the course of the year, she got braver and braver. First she decided she loved swimming and wasn't afraid of water. We went to Myrtle Beach in July, and she was a fish! We went to an amusement park, and Nate said he wanted to "bungee jump" (kids could jump on a trampoline strapped to bungee cords), and to my surprise Georgia said she also wanted to! And she did! I saw little acts of bravery all year, and then on Thanksgiving she told me she wanted to get her ears pierced. She was afraid, but as we say all the time, bravery is being afraid but doing it anyway. She is so proud of those earrings.
Georgia also ran cross country in spring and fall, and this fall she took me by surprise and really increased her pace and set a PR. She can run over a mile without stopping for a walk break. Georgia has developed some wonderful friendships with a small group of girls over this year too. (In fact, she is having her first sleepover with her bff Aliya tonight.) Her teacher says she is a delightful student. She's such a helper at school and at home. She's my mommy #2, and sometimes she can handle Nate and Bo better than me. She's nurturing and a great planner.
As for Bo, he's grown SO MUCH this year. He was still my baby when 2015 started, only 2.5. This year he potty trained--extremely easily, thank goodness. And I moved him to his big boy bed. He's showing us his huge personality! He's a little clown. Just naturally really funny. He has this deadpan voice he uses sometimes that cracks me up. He's big enough to play with his big sister and sometimes his big brother these days. One of my favorite things about Bo is his crazy blonde curly hair. One thing we are working on is his blood curdling scream. :) With me staying home with him this year, I basically had to take him everywhere. At first that was difficult! He wasn't used to sitting in quiet waiting rooms and behaving through the grocery store. We had LOTS of practice this year, and he has come a long way. I can't believe he'll be going to preschool next year.
Georgia also ran cross country in spring and fall, and this fall she took me by surprise and really increased her pace and set a PR. She can run over a mile without stopping for a walk break. Georgia has developed some wonderful friendships with a small group of girls over this year too. (In fact, she is having her first sleepover with her bff Aliya tonight.) Her teacher says she is a delightful student. She's such a helper at school and at home. She's my mommy #2, and sometimes she can handle Nate and Bo better than me. She's nurturing and a great planner.
As for Bo, he's grown SO MUCH this year. He was still my baby when 2015 started, only 2.5. This year he potty trained--extremely easily, thank goodness. And I moved him to his big boy bed. He's showing us his huge personality! He's a little clown. Just naturally really funny. He has this deadpan voice he uses sometimes that cracks me up. He's big enough to play with his big sister and sometimes his big brother these days. One of my favorite things about Bo is his crazy blonde curly hair. One thing we are working on is his blood curdling scream. :) With me staying home with him this year, I basically had to take him everywhere. At first that was difficult! He wasn't used to sitting in quiet waiting rooms and behaving through the grocery store. We had LOTS of practice this year, and he has come a long way. I can't believe he'll be going to preschool next year.
As if 3 kids, a dog and a cat weren't enough to care for, we added a new family member this year! We have been researching options for service dogs, companion dogs, etc, for Nate for more than a year. We were turned down by a rescue organization and a service dog nonprofit, couldn't find just the right dog at the humane society, and didn't feel like we were a good fit for another service dog nonprofit. We wanted a *calm* dog that would help Nate calm down. That's different from what most service dogs are trained to do, but Nate doesn't need a dog for any mobility needs. So we finally decided to bite the bullet and get a goldendoodle puppy, much to the disapproval of everyone including the trainer we are using. :) I went to pick up Tilly the Friday before Thanksgiving, which was the night we got home from Nate's second surgery. I wanted a girl, and I held three girls. When I picked up Tilly, she just snuggled hard into my neck. She was so quiet and meek and calm. Well, after getting her home, in less than a week she came out of her shell! Now no one would call her quiet, meek or calm! She's a feisty, hyper puppy. But she's also very sweet and still loves to cuddle. We know she will need a lot of training and time to become what we had in mind, but she is smart and already learning. When she first came home, all the kids loved her but as predicted Georgia and Bo were very afraid of her. Especially as she became more energetic, they could usually be found standing on the couch shrieking. But also as I predicted, they have become much more comfortable in a short amount of time. Now they hug her and pick her up and walk her. And when she gets the puppy wilds and runs around trying to chew on everyone, you can still find them on the couch but they are yelling at her to stop.
In 2015 we went to Perdido Key, FL, Myrtle Beach, SC, camp at the Center for Courageous Kids, camping at Holiday World and at Taylorsville State Park, and to a cabin in the Smoky Mountains.
What a year. There have been a lot of changes that may not seem huge to people outside of our family, but they have incrementally helped us toward where we want to be as a family. We are entering 2016 ready to see what God has in store for us.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
