It's after midnight, so it's officially Nate's birthday. On this night 5 years ago, I was in Labor and Delivery trying to convince myself and everyone around me that I was not in labor, but Nate wasn't listening. On June 25 around 1pm, all 4 pounds 10 ounces of Nate came out screaming. Sometimes the whole experience--the diagnosis, the fetal surgery, the bedrest, the NICU--feels like yesterday, and other times it is a lifetime ago. When I looked at Nate for the first time, I remember thinking, "So that's what you look like." I studied his face trying to figure out what he would look like when he was a big kid and what kind of personality he would have. I could not have dreamed of a more amazing kid. I would not have dreamed he would be playing T-ball five years from that day. I could not have possibly imagined that I would be working at a Spina Bifida Association chapter and going this weekend to California for the National Conference and to meet oodles of wonderful friends I have come to know on this journey. I really had no idea of the amazing life that would begin that day.
I haven't interviewed Nate in several months, and I thought that would be a good way to record what he's like right now. So I started this evening in the car:
Me: Nate, how old are you going to be tomorrow?
Nate: Five!
Me: Do you know anyone else who's 5?
Nate: Who? Who is it?
Me: I'm asking you.
Nate: Who is it?! I don't know! TELL ME! Waaaaa!!!!
Eek. Bad timing. Try again later.
Later:
Me: What are we going to do at your party?
Nate: I want to have a train birthday.
(I should not have asked that question. I had finally convinced him it would be awesome, after 2 years of train birthday parties, to change things up a bit and have a Cars party. Sigh.)
Me: Moving on. What should we eat at the party?
Nate: Uh, pizza.
Me: What's your favorite food?
Nate: Pizza.
Me: What does it taste like?
Nate: It tastes like cheese. Like the pizza cheese.
Me: What is Mama's favorite food?
Nate: Hmm. Is your favorite food pizza too?
Me: I do like pizza.
Nate: Me too. Daddy, do you like pizza?
Blake: Yeah, I like pizza.
Nate: Georgia, do you like pizza?
Georgia: I wike pizza, Nate.
Nate: She likes pizza too. So, we all like pizza.
Me: Okay, great. How tall are you, Nate?
Nate: 4
Me: Hmm. Okay, how tall is Daddy?
Nate: Is he 32?
Me: Interesting. Who is your best friend?
Nate: Andy
Me: But earlier today you said Daddy was your best friend.
Nate: Andy and Daddy is my best friends.
Me: What do you like about Andy?
Nate: Trains.
Me: He likes to play trains?
Nate: Yeah, I do.
Me: What's your favorite thing about Daddy?
Nate: Trains. I still like trains. I like train movies. I like everything about trains.
Blake: But what do you like about Daddy?
Nate: You like trains too!
Blake: Does Daddy do anything special with you?
Nate: Watch train movies.
Me: Okay, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Nate: An engineer.
Me: What does an engineer do?
Nate: It drives a train.
Me: So you're going to drive a train?
Nate: Yeah, when I grow up, after I'm 5. After I'm 5 I'm going to be 6.
Blake: How old do you have to be to drive a train?
Nate: Taller than 5. I think it's 15.
Me: Are you going to get married?
Nate: I will get married, but when I get taller! I'm alive!
Me: (scratches head)
Happy birthday to my big 5 year old. I couldn't love you any more.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
The Thomas obsession lives on
Today was Nate's 3rd annual Day Out with Thomas ... and Papaw and Grandma. I wasn't able to go this year, but Blake took pictures for me. :)
Georgia loves Thomas too, and anything else Nate likes.
One of the reasons I couldn't go along today was because Nate's birthday present arrived! Bunkbeds!!!
With the move from a toddler bed to a big boy bed also comes new bedding, and guess what he asked for. Look how big he looks in his big boy bed.
Sometimes I get sick of hearing about Thomas. But lately Nate has been talking about how cool Justin "Beaver" is, and I realize that Thomas mania is much better than Bieber Fever.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Play Ball!
Nate is playing T-ball this summer. :) I could go on about how amazing that is, but I think you get it. Nate is playing T-ball this summer! It's very cool.
It's a YMCA league for 4 and 5 year olds, and one of our little SB buddies is also on the team, and his dad is coaching it. It's just a great scenario, where we get to hang out with friends and feel comfortable with Nate participating. Apparently I have been missing out on the joy of watching 4 and 5 year olds play T-ball! It is hilarious. They have no idea what they are doing, they are running in circles, they're picking flowers, they're piling on top of each other to get the ball. I love every minute of it.
This video shows a pretty good hit! And then getting lost on the way to first base ...
When did he get so big.
Um, then he walked off the field and sat down for awhile. He gets bored in the outfield.
Giving high fives after the game. (Nobody won, nobody lost!)
Last weekend I took some of the adults with SB to a Bats (local minor league team) game.
It's a YMCA league for 4 and 5 year olds, and one of our little SB buddies is also on the team, and his dad is coaching it. It's just a great scenario, where we get to hang out with friends and feel comfortable with Nate participating. Apparently I have been missing out on the joy of watching 4 and 5 year olds play T-ball! It is hilarious. They have no idea what they are doing, they are running in circles, they're picking flowers, they're piling on top of each other to get the ball. I love every minute of it.
This video shows a pretty good hit! And then getting lost on the way to first base ...
Blake is out on the field the whole time, cause they need extra coaches to keep all the kids running in the right direction, and to help Nate if needed.
When did he get so big.
Um, then he walked off the field and sat down for awhile. He gets bored in the outfield.
Giving high fives after the game. (Nobody won, nobody lost!)
Last weekend I took some of the adults with SB to a Bats (local minor league team) game.
And since Nate is playing T-ball now, I took him too. Before the game he had a hotdog and fruit, then during the game he ate popcorn, cotton candy, a sno-cone, and ice cream--Ha! And we only made it to the 4th inning! We had a great time, but it was sooooo hot, and once we got past Nate's bedtime I could tell a meltdown was imminent. I was right--it happened in the car. But it was a lot of fun for me to get to take Nate somewhere just me and him (and 20 adults with SB, but who's counting).
Oh, and if you can't tell, we are not athletic people, or even interested in sports. So this venture into T-ball is probably a short lived novelty. :) But we're enjoying it while it lasts.
Running Home!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The therapy god
I am having to come to terms with the fact that when Nate starts Kindergarten in the fall, we are going to have to drop outside therapy. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but I am feeling very anxious about this. Therapy has been part of our lives for 4.5 years now.
When Nate left the NICU, I didn't know anything about First Steps, our early intervention system. A nurse did mention it to me but said Nate would not qualify until/unless he showed a delay, and at the time he was an infant and not showing any delays yet. Well, she was wrong. Nate would have qualified based on his diagnosis of Spina bifida, but by the time I realized this he was 6 months old. Already, he was showing delays, and I really regretted not researching it myself more, and I thought maybe earlier intervention might have helped him. Who knows, maybe it would have, maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. But that was just the beginning of me realizing I needed to be more proactive about Nate's care and options.
Nate's first physical therapist was brand new, and I doubt she's still a PT because she didn't seem to like it much. At least that's what I gathered from her not showing up most weeks. The next PT was okay, but she also failed to show up, without notice, many weeks, and she had a tendency of gabbing more than working with Nate. I was frustrated by Nate's lack of progress, but there were no other options for PT in the town where I lived. Maybe his progression would have been the same, but I always wonder if we had had a better PT if things would have been different.
Then we moved to Louisville. I requested a PT named Dee because a friend recommended her to me. Her first visit, she told me I baby Nate too much and that I need to consider PT my job since I'm a stay at home mom, and obviously I had not been doing that. I was livid. I DID consider that my job. I DID work with him, hours upon hours. Her next visit, she realized she had been wrong. I will never forget when she told me (in reference to Nate not wanting to stand in his walker), "It's not for lack of muscles. He's afraid of being off the ground." That's when Sensory Processing Disorder entered our lives, and within a week of doing the sensory therapies she gave us to do, he was walking down the street and back in his walker. She changed Nate's life. I don't know when we would have ever figured out the secret of Nate's lack of progression if not for her. She was a miracle worker for nearly a year, when Nate aged out of early intervention.
Besides PT, we also did occupational therapy, and at some points also had a developmental interventionist come to the house to check Nate's progress toward developmental goals. Even while he was in First Steps, we started also at Greenhill Therapy, which offers hippotherapy (horse therapy). At some points, he was having therapies up to 5 days a week. This was a grueling schedule. Because not only did we have therapy an hour a day, we also had lots of homework. Every activity became therapy. We didn't just play on the floor. I would make up a game so that he had to stand up and sit down to reach something, or sit in tall kneel position to play at his kitchen, or do activities on the exercise ball. He has never complained too much about therapies. It's just part of life. And for the most part, it's fun. For me, it has been a weekly or daily source of pride, challenge, and anxiety. One day a therapist would tell me how awesome Nate was doing, and the next day another therapist would remind me how far we had to go.
At age 3, Nate aged out of early intervention, and around that same time he started walking independently. When children age out of EI, the state then transfers the responsibility of therapies over to the school system. So Nate started preschool and was offered "the motherload of therapies" as one of his therapists told me. Not only did he get PT and OT, he was also given Speech therapy, which he had never received in EI. But in the school system, the therapies are geared toward helping the child be successful at school. If it's not necessary for his education, they don't work on it at school. For example, there are no stairs at school, so they don't work on them. But we do have stairs at home, and his independence on the stairs at home is always one of our goals for Nate. So we also continued therapy outside of the school system.
We have continued at Greenhill, which we love. They even featured Nate's story in one of their fundraising letters. He's been there for 2.5 years now, and we've had several of the therapists for PT and OT. Riding a horse is like no big thang for Nate now, just something he does once a week. Horse therapy is great for lots of reasons, which I won't go into here. We've also done aquatic therapy with these therapists, and that was so great for Nate. When Nate started preschool, he had a terribly hard time. Even half day was physically exhausting for him, not to mention he had just started walking and had just gotten a baby sister and I had taken away his paci! I think we had 3 days of therapy at Greenhill then, and I reluctantly ended up dropping one of them in late fall because the schedule was too much for him.
Nate currently does OT and PT back to back on Friday mornings during the school year, but we have seperated them for the summer so he doesn't get so tired doing them both on the same morning. His current PT is a really great therapist, but she and I have different personalities. I've known her for a couple of years now, so I know she is tough on Nate, and that's good. Sometimes she's a little too tough though--mostly on me. She often says things to me that sting, but I take them for what they are worth and try to forget the rest.
This week stung a little too much. I was already very anxious for several reasons. I am paranoid about tethered cord right now because Nate's left foot is pointing out, and that's usually his straight foot, and some other reasons. She tried to reassure me that it was because his braces are too short, so I said we would wait for new braces and if that doesn't help, we're going to see the neurosurgeon. Then we started talking about the decision to take Nate out of therapy when he starts Kindergarten. She thought it would be fine to take a break. She said that Nate could probably always (as in, for the rest of his life) use physical therapy, but (and this is when it started going downhill) at some point, Nate is going to reach his physical limit. He does have nerve damage, and you can't correct those deficits. You can only work with what you've got. Then she said that she thinks he could be reaching his physical limit soon. ... He might not progress much more than where he is now physically.
Okay. let me just preface this by saying that Nate is awesome. He is amazing. He is a miracle. He should not be able to do what he is doing, physically. He is walking and running and jumping and dancing. How much more could we ask for? But he still has his challenges. He has a tough time climbing stairs and still usually crawls on stairs. He has trouble getting up off the floor and back down on the floor. He's very unstable and falls a lot. And he just doesn't quite move like other kids can. And that's fine, but we'd like to keep going with therapies to make moving easier for Nate and work all these muscles he has that we never thought he would have.
So when she was saying she thought he might be reaching his physical limit, in my head I was saying "I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't believe you" and "We will prove you wrong." I will never put limits on what Nate can do, whether physically or any other way in life. I learned a long time ago that Nate will do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. And he has surpassed all our expectations. So why would I think that is going to stop anytime soon. I let it slide, and told her how I've seen Nate improve at home in the last few months.
We went on to talk about some of the activities Nate will be doing this summer to help his social skills. I said he's always worked with grown ups in therapy, and that's who he likes to play with. She said he'd been "therapized" which I think is a funny and totally true description! We have all been therapized! I am such a believer in therapies that I don't know what we will do without them. My mom also said, "But what if he regresses with no therapies!"
This week my Bible study group started a new study called "No Other Gods" and it takes a look at our false idols in today's world. Whether we spend too much time watching TV to read our Bibles, or we turn to food for comfort, or we work our lives away for money or status or power, everyone has their false gods. These gods can start out as something good--like exercise, or keeping in touch with friends on facebook, or trying to please our husbands. But when we put too much energy and time and faith into these good things, they start to control us.
That's when I realized that therapy has become a god to me. Although we do put thought an effort into Nate's spiritual development, it's not anywhere near the time we have put into his physical development. My mood and outlook on Nate's future can be altered by one therapy session. It has been our priority for 4.5 years now. We have arranged our lives around it. It has consumed our schedules and our thoughts.
I'm not saying that therapy is a bad thing, because I am still a big believer in the power of therapy. I'm just a bigger believer in the power of God. Therapy is a good thing, and it certainly has its place in our lives. Just not the most important place. I have let a good thing become a controlling thing in our lives. And I can't believe it took this long to see it.
So we will continue with therapy this summer, and work hard as we realize that only God knows Nate's full potential. And in the fall, we will take a break, because Nate will be fine without it and will need the extra energy for school. After he gets used to his new schedule, I'm sure I'll be eager to try a new type of therapy to see how it might help him. And I will do my best to keep it in its proper place, after God and family life and the really important things.
When Nate left the NICU, I didn't know anything about First Steps, our early intervention system. A nurse did mention it to me but said Nate would not qualify until/unless he showed a delay, and at the time he was an infant and not showing any delays yet. Well, she was wrong. Nate would have qualified based on his diagnosis of Spina bifida, but by the time I realized this he was 6 months old. Already, he was showing delays, and I really regretted not researching it myself more, and I thought maybe earlier intervention might have helped him. Who knows, maybe it would have, maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. But that was just the beginning of me realizing I needed to be more proactive about Nate's care and options.
Nate's first physical therapist was brand new, and I doubt she's still a PT because she didn't seem to like it much. At least that's what I gathered from her not showing up most weeks. The next PT was okay, but she also failed to show up, without notice, many weeks, and she had a tendency of gabbing more than working with Nate. I was frustrated by Nate's lack of progress, but there were no other options for PT in the town where I lived. Maybe his progression would have been the same, but I always wonder if we had had a better PT if things would have been different.
Then we moved to Louisville. I requested a PT named Dee because a friend recommended her to me. Her first visit, she told me I baby Nate too much and that I need to consider PT my job since I'm a stay at home mom, and obviously I had not been doing that. I was livid. I DID consider that my job. I DID work with him, hours upon hours. Her next visit, she realized she had been wrong. I will never forget when she told me (in reference to Nate not wanting to stand in his walker), "It's not for lack of muscles. He's afraid of being off the ground." That's when Sensory Processing Disorder entered our lives, and within a week of doing the sensory therapies she gave us to do, he was walking down the street and back in his walker. She changed Nate's life. I don't know when we would have ever figured out the secret of Nate's lack of progression if not for her. She was a miracle worker for nearly a year, when Nate aged out of early intervention.
Besides PT, we also did occupational therapy, and at some points also had a developmental interventionist come to the house to check Nate's progress toward developmental goals. Even while he was in First Steps, we started also at Greenhill Therapy, which offers hippotherapy (horse therapy). At some points, he was having therapies up to 5 days a week. This was a grueling schedule. Because not only did we have therapy an hour a day, we also had lots of homework. Every activity became therapy. We didn't just play on the floor. I would make up a game so that he had to stand up and sit down to reach something, or sit in tall kneel position to play at his kitchen, or do activities on the exercise ball. He has never complained too much about therapies. It's just part of life. And for the most part, it's fun. For me, it has been a weekly or daily source of pride, challenge, and anxiety. One day a therapist would tell me how awesome Nate was doing, and the next day another therapist would remind me how far we had to go.
At age 3, Nate aged out of early intervention, and around that same time he started walking independently. When children age out of EI, the state then transfers the responsibility of therapies over to the school system. So Nate started preschool and was offered "the motherload of therapies" as one of his therapists told me. Not only did he get PT and OT, he was also given Speech therapy, which he had never received in EI. But in the school system, the therapies are geared toward helping the child be successful at school. If it's not necessary for his education, they don't work on it at school. For example, there are no stairs at school, so they don't work on them. But we do have stairs at home, and his independence on the stairs at home is always one of our goals for Nate. So we also continued therapy outside of the school system.
We have continued at Greenhill, which we love. They even featured Nate's story in one of their fundraising letters. He's been there for 2.5 years now, and we've had several of the therapists for PT and OT. Riding a horse is like no big thang for Nate now, just something he does once a week. Horse therapy is great for lots of reasons, which I won't go into here. We've also done aquatic therapy with these therapists, and that was so great for Nate. When Nate started preschool, he had a terribly hard time. Even half day was physically exhausting for him, not to mention he had just started walking and had just gotten a baby sister and I had taken away his paci! I think we had 3 days of therapy at Greenhill then, and I reluctantly ended up dropping one of them in late fall because the schedule was too much for him.
Nate currently does OT and PT back to back on Friday mornings during the school year, but we have seperated them for the summer so he doesn't get so tired doing them both on the same morning. His current PT is a really great therapist, but she and I have different personalities. I've known her for a couple of years now, so I know she is tough on Nate, and that's good. Sometimes she's a little too tough though--mostly on me. She often says things to me that sting, but I take them for what they are worth and try to forget the rest.
This week stung a little too much. I was already very anxious for several reasons. I am paranoid about tethered cord right now because Nate's left foot is pointing out, and that's usually his straight foot, and some other reasons. She tried to reassure me that it was because his braces are too short, so I said we would wait for new braces and if that doesn't help, we're going to see the neurosurgeon. Then we started talking about the decision to take Nate out of therapy when he starts Kindergarten. She thought it would be fine to take a break. She said that Nate could probably always (as in, for the rest of his life) use physical therapy, but (and this is when it started going downhill) at some point, Nate is going to reach his physical limit. He does have nerve damage, and you can't correct those deficits. You can only work with what you've got. Then she said that she thinks he could be reaching his physical limit soon. ... He might not progress much more than where he is now physically.
Okay. let me just preface this by saying that Nate is awesome. He is amazing. He is a miracle. He should not be able to do what he is doing, physically. He is walking and running and jumping and dancing. How much more could we ask for? But he still has his challenges. He has a tough time climbing stairs and still usually crawls on stairs. He has trouble getting up off the floor and back down on the floor. He's very unstable and falls a lot. And he just doesn't quite move like other kids can. And that's fine, but we'd like to keep going with therapies to make moving easier for Nate and work all these muscles he has that we never thought he would have.
So when she was saying she thought he might be reaching his physical limit, in my head I was saying "I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't believe you" and "We will prove you wrong." I will never put limits on what Nate can do, whether physically or any other way in life. I learned a long time ago that Nate will do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. And he has surpassed all our expectations. So why would I think that is going to stop anytime soon. I let it slide, and told her how I've seen Nate improve at home in the last few months.
We went on to talk about some of the activities Nate will be doing this summer to help his social skills. I said he's always worked with grown ups in therapy, and that's who he likes to play with. She said he'd been "therapized" which I think is a funny and totally true description! We have all been therapized! I am such a believer in therapies that I don't know what we will do without them. My mom also said, "But what if he regresses with no therapies!"
This week my Bible study group started a new study called "No Other Gods" and it takes a look at our false idols in today's world. Whether we spend too much time watching TV to read our Bibles, or we turn to food for comfort, or we work our lives away for money or status or power, everyone has their false gods. These gods can start out as something good--like exercise, or keeping in touch with friends on facebook, or trying to please our husbands. But when we put too much energy and time and faith into these good things, they start to control us.
That's when I realized that therapy has become a god to me. Although we do put thought an effort into Nate's spiritual development, it's not anywhere near the time we have put into his physical development. My mood and outlook on Nate's future can be altered by one therapy session. It has been our priority for 4.5 years now. We have arranged our lives around it. It has consumed our schedules and our thoughts.
I'm not saying that therapy is a bad thing, because I am still a big believer in the power of therapy. I'm just a bigger believer in the power of God. Therapy is a good thing, and it certainly has its place in our lives. Just not the most important place. I have let a good thing become a controlling thing in our lives. And I can't believe it took this long to see it.
So we will continue with therapy this summer, and work hard as we realize that only God knows Nate's full potential. And in the fall, we will take a break, because Nate will be fine without it and will need the extra energy for school. After he gets used to his new schedule, I'm sure I'll be eager to try a new type of therapy to see how it might help him. And I will do my best to keep it in its proper place, after God and family life and the really important things.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Missing GrandBob
I haven't blogged in awhile because I just don't really even know what to say. Blake's stepdad, Bob, died about a week and a half ago. He was 54. He had bone cancer and after undergoing many, many treatments of various types, he'd been given only a few months to live. Then he suddenly was hit with meningitis and quickly passed away.
Bob was Blake's step-dad but had been in the family for more than 22 years. It's impossible to describe a man in a few words, but just a few of my favorite memories of him, off the top of my head, include:
*When I was new to the family, at dinner one night he scolded me by saying, "In this house, we don't leave anything on our plates." Yes, sir. I ate the rest.
*Camping with him and Janie and Blake and, once, Nate too. Bob loved to camp. We would sit out at the picnic table and play the board game Sequence.
*Him barbecuing chickens on his backyard pit. Best chicken ever.
*Seeing him holding both of my newborns.
*After my first miscarriage, him telling Blake that we will see the baby in heaven one day.
*His famous caramel corn he made every Christmas! He tried to teach me how to make it several times, and it just never turned out as good as his. He also made a mean pumpkin roll every Christmas.
*The way he helped Janie in the kitchen. He said they got along best when they were working together. I've always thought they were a compatible, loving couple who took care of each other. (And Janie proved this toward the end as she took such amazing care of Bob.)
*Watching him play with the kids, usually outside. The kids loved their GrandBob, and still do of course.
*I can't look around my house without seeing all the projects Bob did around our house. We were just talking yesterday about how strange it's going to be without Bob. Anytime we have a home improvement project on our minds, the first thing we think of is getting Bob here to help us. He was not only handy, he was very giving of his time and talents.
There are so many more, but I'll stop there.
This is the first death in our close family since we've had children, and I didn't know what to expect from the children. Well, mostly Nate since Georgia is still too young to understand anything. Nate knew that GrandBob was sick because we prayed for him every night. Most nights when I would pray for Bob, Nate would say, "But mama, GrandBob is all better now!" Probably because he looked and acted so healthy. So I read him a book about heaven and explained that GrandBob was in heaven now. When we were on the way to Owensboro for the visitation and funeral, I asked Nate, "Do you remember where GrandBob is now?" He said, "At heaven? It's a happy place, and you get to sit next to God!" Very sweet.
For the visitation, the kids mostly stayed in the funeral home's lounge, where they had food and such. They had a good time playing with cousins, not understanding what a sad time this was for the rest of us. The next day, they were surprisingly good as they sat through the whole funeral. Well, mainly because I was stuffing their little mouths with snacks the whole time so they wouldn't be loud! But I was so proud of how well behaved they were.
Later that day, we were sitting in the back yard with Blake's mom, and out of nowhere Nate asked, "Hey, where's GrandBob?" Blake reminded him that GrandBob is in heaven now. Nate said, "I want him to come back." All three of us let out a sigh. We do too.
This weekend Janie came to visit, and yesterday we had a cookout with friends and family. We had a good time, but we were all very aware that someone was missing. It just won't be the same.
We miss you, GrandBob.
Bob was Blake's step-dad but had been in the family for more than 22 years. It's impossible to describe a man in a few words, but just a few of my favorite memories of him, off the top of my head, include:
*When I was new to the family, at dinner one night he scolded me by saying, "In this house, we don't leave anything on our plates." Yes, sir. I ate the rest.
*Camping with him and Janie and Blake and, once, Nate too. Bob loved to camp. We would sit out at the picnic table and play the board game Sequence.
*Him barbecuing chickens on his backyard pit. Best chicken ever.
*Seeing him holding both of my newborns.
*After my first miscarriage, him telling Blake that we will see the baby in heaven one day.
*His famous caramel corn he made every Christmas! He tried to teach me how to make it several times, and it just never turned out as good as his. He also made a mean pumpkin roll every Christmas.
*The way he helped Janie in the kitchen. He said they got along best when they were working together. I've always thought they were a compatible, loving couple who took care of each other. (And Janie proved this toward the end as she took such amazing care of Bob.)
*Watching him play with the kids, usually outside. The kids loved their GrandBob, and still do of course.
*I can't look around my house without seeing all the projects Bob did around our house. We were just talking yesterday about how strange it's going to be without Bob. Anytime we have a home improvement project on our minds, the first thing we think of is getting Bob here to help us. He was not only handy, he was very giving of his time and talents.
There are so many more, but I'll stop there.
This is the first death in our close family since we've had children, and I didn't know what to expect from the children. Well, mostly Nate since Georgia is still too young to understand anything. Nate knew that GrandBob was sick because we prayed for him every night. Most nights when I would pray for Bob, Nate would say, "But mama, GrandBob is all better now!" Probably because he looked and acted so healthy. So I read him a book about heaven and explained that GrandBob was in heaven now. When we were on the way to Owensboro for the visitation and funeral, I asked Nate, "Do you remember where GrandBob is now?" He said, "At heaven? It's a happy place, and you get to sit next to God!" Very sweet.
For the visitation, the kids mostly stayed in the funeral home's lounge, where they had food and such. They had a good time playing with cousins, not understanding what a sad time this was for the rest of us. The next day, they were surprisingly good as they sat through the whole funeral. Well, mainly because I was stuffing their little mouths with snacks the whole time so they wouldn't be loud! But I was so proud of how well behaved they were.
Later that day, we were sitting in the back yard with Blake's mom, and out of nowhere Nate asked, "Hey, where's GrandBob?" Blake reminded him that GrandBob is in heaven now. Nate said, "I want him to come back." All three of us let out a sigh. We do too.
This weekend Janie came to visit, and yesterday we had a cookout with friends and family. We had a good time, but we were all very aware that someone was missing. It just won't be the same.
We miss you, GrandBob.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Photos and updates, long overdue
My camera is getting fixed--I figured I would spend a little to get it fixed instead of several hundred for a new camera. But it is taking weeks, and I have missed Easter and our SBAK conference and so many moments I would like to have had photos of. All I have had is my phone. :( So I'll dump all the pictures I can find from my and Blake's phones and facebook. I'll add some overdue updates too. Work and life have been so consuming that I have neglected the blog. Sorry, grandmas.
I'll start with our SBAK Easter Egg hunt. (These are not from my phone! Photos by Kelly Davenport.)
This is our friend Caden, who just loves Georgia. :)
Then my parents came for a visit for Easter weekend, and they were brave enough to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese. They bought them a bunch of tickets to play games, and all they did was play on this slide for free, lol.
I was pretty happy with the Easter baskets this year.
Um, Georgia has this face. :) If you even raise your voice to her--like here, to tell her to stop before she ran in the road--her lip pops out and her feelings are hurt. I am told she gets this from her mother.
Let's skip to Mother's Day. We visited Memaw and GrandBob and had a great weekend.
Look at my pretty new dress from Memaw.
At Memaw's house, Nate gets to sleep in a twin bed (he's still in a toddler bed at home). At one point during the night, I heard him screaming (which is not uncommon) and when I went to check on him he was sitting in the middle of the floor. I got him calmed down and back in bed, and it wasn't until the next morning I saw this big bump and bruise on his forehead.
A few weeks ago, my friend Jenny and her little girl Ellie came to visit. The kids all had a blast together, it was so fun. We tried to get a group picture, and it was pretty funny.
Hehe, finally!
Usually there's stuff to update about Nate, but I thought I would talk a little about Georgia this time. :) She is 21 months old now, and she's SO big. First of all she talks so big. She has a great vocabulary and can communicate just about anything. And she's not just repeating us--she comes up with stuff all on her own all the time. Like one day this week I was loading the kids in the car and I asked who I was loading up first. Georgia came running saying "Meeee!!!!" Then as I was buckling her in, she said, "Mama, Nate's turn!" I'm biased, but I think she's very smart and clever. Probably the phrase she uses the most is "Where Nate go?" She loves her big brother.
Georgia can eat with utensils very well, and she's learning to drink from an open cup. You can tell how great she is at it from that big wet spot on her dress.
While Nate was riding the horse at hippotherapy, Georgia put on a helmet and said, "Daddy, a horse. Daddy, a horse." As in, "Daddy, go get me a horse." :) She's been watching Nate long enough that she thinks she knows what to do.
A few weeks ago she tried out a bike for the first time. She wouldn't keep her feet on the pedals, so I just pushed her like she was in a stroller. Eh, she's still little.
Georgia loves to play dress up. She will try on necklaces she finds in my room, random hats, anything she can find. Then she says, "Mama, wook!" The other day I had some clean laundry on the couch waiting to be folded, and when I heard "Mama, wook!" I turned around to see Georgia trying to pull up 3 pairs of boxer shorts up over her legs! She was so mad they wouldn't stay up! She also loves putting on Nate's braces when he's not wearing them, and she wears them as boots, and she will put on anyone's shoes and stomp around in them.
She learns to love dress up from the best--the 4 year old girl at the babysitter's house. :)
She also loves her babies. How sweet is this.
Two things I hear on a daily basis are, "Mama, sucker. Mama, sucker" and "Mama, chocwat. Mama, chocwat."
Okay, so the biggest news is that Georgia is starting to want to use the potty! We're not full on potty training yet, but she actually asks to use the potty, which is a nice change from begging Nate to use it. It remains to be seen whether this will encourage Nate to use the potty too.
(Forgive me, teenage Georgia.)
Ha! This is how fancy girls go potty!
A couple of Nate. :) One day Blake and Nate went to the zoo by themselves, and Nate was really into the map.
Nate's latest thing is to repeat everything you say, except he does it AS you are saying it. I don't know how he can possibly repeat as quickly as he does--but he ends up saying what you are saying, simultaneously with you saying it. It's really .... fun. Especially reading him a story book! We're basically reading it in unison.
Then on a whim, I said, "Hey, do you know who has Spina Bifida?"
Nate: "Um ... Jenny?"
Me: No, you!
Then he decided to go all re-Pete on me and start saying what I'm saying in unison.
Nate: No, you!
Me: No, you have Spina Bifida.
Nate: (at the same time) No, you have Spina Bifida.
Me: No, really--
Nate: No, really--
And then we both started giggling and I gave up.
Then yesterday I was telling him about our upcoming weekend and that we were going to a playgroup.
Nate: Will my school friends be there?
Me: No, our Spina Bifida friends will be there. It's just for kids who have Spina Bifida and their brothers and sisters.
Nate: Will Georgia be there?
Me: Yes, because she is your sister.
Nate: And I will be there because I am her brother!
Me: Sigh. Kind of.
It's just not sinking in. :) And that's okay. I just want to make sure that he knows that having Spina Bifida is not a big deal, but it is part of him. And I think the way to do that is to talk about it sometimes.
Anyway, the SB playgroup was a couple hours away in Bowling Green, and there is a time difference between here and there, and as usual I got mixed up. So we got there an hour and a half early. In my quest to find a kid friendly restaurant to stop at, I ran across ... a train museum! Poifect! Nate was so surprised--we pulled in the parking lot, and he started yelling about the train! He saw a train! And it was moving!
Inside there was a little museum and Nate's idea of heaven--a model train layout.
Georgia likes Nate so much that she dutifully likes Thomas too. I think her longest sentence to date has been, "Where. Nomas. Go. Nate?"
Okay, you are officially updated! Oops, found one more picture. The babysitter sent me this on Friday after the kids had played in the sprinkler and were eating popsicles. It's a good life. :)
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