I've had a secret.

I haven't blogged in over a month, because I have a hard time blogging with a secret. :)
I'm pregnant!

I'm about 11 weeks along. Around 6 weeks, Blake and I saw the baby on ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. Last week I was able to hear the heartbeat on the doppler. Is there any sweeter sound? I had waited 2.5 hours for this 4 minute appointment, and as annoyed as I was at that point, I just couldn't help but grin big at that thumping sound.

The next morning, I finally told Nate and Georgia I had a baby in my belly. They don't fully understand, but they were somewhat excited. Nate had some questions.

Me: The baby is very small now, but it will get bigger and bigger, and then I'll go to the hospital and the doctor will get it out.
Nate: Is the doctor going to have to break your belly?!
Me: No, I'll have to have surgery to get the baby out. Kind of like how you had to have surgery.
Nate: Are you going to have a hole in your back too?
(Bless his heart.)
Me: No, I'll have an incision in my belly. But the doctor will be very careful, and the baby and I will be fine. I had surgery to get you and Georgia out too.

I couldn't resist asking him if he thought we were having a boy or a girl. When I told him I was pregnant with Georgia, he knew right away she was a girl and stuck with it the whole time (he was only 2). This time he thinks it's a boy, and he wants to name him Nate. I told him that might get confusing when I call for Nate and they both say what.

Georgia didn't have much of a reaction, but after Blake told her babysitter that morning, I guess they talked it up all day. That evening, she was putting her baby doll down for a nap on the couch, and she says:

Georgia: Mama, are you gonna have a baby in your bewwy?
Me: I DO have a baby in my belly! ... Georgia, what in the world are we going to do with a baby?
Georgia: (Pointing at the couch) I gonna lay it right here to go to sweep.

Later, my neighbor came over, and she commented on how tall Georgia is getting. Georgia says, "That's cause I'm a big sister!" She is very excited about being a big sister.

On New Year's Day this year, I wrote on the blog: "The truth is, we have no idea what will happen this year, and I'm pretty happy with that. We give 2012 to God, and we'll follow him wherever he leads us. Wherever that is will be something way better than we could have dreamed up."

Well, there you go. Seven days later I found out I was pregnant--quite unintentionally! When you give God control, great stuff happens. So I can worry about birth defects or prematurity or how I'm going to handle 3 kids and a full-time job or how the kids will react to a baby or how we'll afford a baby. Or I can believe that God knows what he's doing. And I do believe that.