Every single day my kids crack me up with something, and by the next day I have forgotten half of those things. In an attempt to remember stuff, I'm writing everything I can recall from the last few weeks here, in no certain order.
***
One day we heard a commercial on the radio about a free country music concert downtown. I knew Nate's ears would perk up, so I listened closer. Sure enough, it was at a bar, and the commercial said you must be 21 to get in.
Nate: Mama! They said it's free! We need to go!
Me: Yeah, but they said you have to be 21 years old to go.
Nate: ... No, I'll be fine!
You can imagine the difficulty I had in explaining why you have to be 21. He just kept saying, "No, I'll be fiiiine!"
***
I was in the van with Georgia, and we passed a used car lot where all the cars had balloons on them.
Georgia: Mama ... can we get a balloon for our car someday? ... Maybe on somebody's birthday?
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Me: Good morning, Nate. Do you remember what today is?
Nate: Granna and Pop are coming! OH! And Jesus is back!
Me: Wha? ... Oh, Easter is tomorrow, but I like your enthusiasm!
Now in my head, instead of "He is risen!" I think "Jesus is back!"
***
Georgia has been saying some seriously cute, cute little kid stuff during the weeks leading up to Easter. One day she started saying "Meeska, mooska, bunny egg, bandaid!" In her cute little voice, over and over again. She also made up a little song: "Clap your hands, shout hooray--hoo-ray! The hip hop bunny is on his way!" I must get this on video before she grows up and doesn't say silly stuff like this anymore.
***
Our cousin Nicole, who picks Nate up from school and watches him a lot, is pregnant. Yesterday he said to her: "Your baby is sooooo big! It's going to be 5 years old when it comes out!" I'm sure she appreciated that!
***
Last night Georgia was playing in her room. Nate was headed to his room in nothing but his undies to go put his pajamas on, and he stopped in Georgia's room.
Georgia: No, Nate! No naked boys in my room!
Me: That's a great rule. Let's remember that when you're older.
***
At the SBAK Easter Egg Hunt ...
Nate: Mama, look at that boy--he's bald!
(Bald boy's entire family looks at us.)
Me: Oh, um, yeah, he likes his head shaved, I guess!
(Boy's family smiles graciously.)
Nate: And look at that man over there! He's bald too!
Me: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
My friend Laura, standing near the "man over there": Hey, Colleen ... that stuff Nate said over there? We couldn't hear it at all. (wink)
***
Okay, my kids are a little obsessed with the idea of death. They talk about it a lot, and they often ask me how long till they die, how long till they go to heaven, etc. Yesterday, all of us in the car ...
Georgia: Who in our family is going to die first?
Me: No one except God knows when we're going to die, but it's probably going to be a long, long time for all of us.
Georgia: It'll probably be Daddy.
***
Nicole and Nate were talking about his school valentines, and Nicole teased him that she couldn't believe he didn't give her a valentine. He said, "Well, maybe I'm going to marry you someday ... but you'll probably be died."
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Georgia thought she needed a bandaid for her finger one day at Bekah's, so she gave her one. Georgia smiled and said, "Bekah, you are just like Doc McStuffins!"
***
Getting ready for bed one night, Nate was irritated that his covers were all messed up. He worked hard to get them all straight, and with a big flourish at the end, he says, "Voy-la!" I laughed and told him how to pronounce "voila" correctly. He must have read that somewhere.
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The single cutest thing Georgia has ever said in her life, said in a sweet little voice: I have a little sneeze snuck in my nose!
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I was reading Nate's class newsletter, that said the students were working on writing narrative stories about events in their lives. I asked Nate what his story was about. He said, "One time I was at Granna's house eating Coco Puffs and I saw a bee." .... Ok, that will be a great story. And it has been months since we have been to Granna's house (in Ohio) so I don't know how that little incident has stuck out in his head so much that he's writing about it at school. Granna came to visit last weekend, and Nate saw a bug of some kind. He said, "It's kinda like that time I was at your house eating Coco Puffs and I saw a bee ..."
***
I hosted a Thirty-One party a couple weeks ago, and the kids were really excited that we would have people coming over to our house. On the way home we were talking about what we had to do to get ready for the party. Georgia said, "Nate can help daddy clean the basement, I can help Nicole with the purses ... and Bo can't do nuffin."
***
On April 1, the kids and I came up with some April Fools jokes to play on people. Nate came to work with me that day because it was during spring break. Blake came over to have lunch with us, and Nate hid and jumped out and yelled "April Fools!" Later, Nate and Georgia texted Granna and Pop to tell them their shoes were untied. :) And I made meatloaf "cupcakes" with mashed potatoes "frosting" and pea "sprinkles." The kids thought it was all hilarious and couldn't wait for Blake to come home to trick him. Then they realized they had to eat this for dinner. Georgia refused. I offered to cut it all up for her, and when she saw the inside she said, "Blech!! It's even more disgusting on the inside!" (She's three.)
***
Bo: Dada
That little traitor. After all I've done for him--carried him during the hottest summer in recent memory, had surgery to bring him into the world safely, nursed him and pumped milk for seven months to feed him ... and his first word is Dada.
***
Let me tell you about last Wednesday. After work I picked up the kids, went home, straightened the house, and our Medicaid lady came over for her monthly appointment. After she left, we had an appointment with a new therapist--a behavior therapist. I have been trying to get this set up for THREE MONTHS. Trying to get all the paperwork through, dealing with people who don't do their job well, and general red tape has left me really frustrated with this process (as usual) so I pushed to get this appointment that same night she called. This assessment was 2.5 hours long. While she asked me questions about Nate's behavior and what we want to work on, I was unloading the dishwasher, Nate and Georgia were being loud and obnoxious, Blake came home and started making dinner, and the baby was crying because he needed a nap. It was total chaos. Finally I sent the big kids to the basement to play. It's a finished basement with all their toys down there, but it has open wooden stairs to get there. We enjoyed a few minutes of relative quiet while Blake finished up dinner and the baby continued to fuss, until we heard Nate scream. We waited for a second to see if he was serious. He was serious. I looked down and saw him laying on the floor holding his arm. I carried him up the stairs (which is probably why my back has been bothering me ever since) and we tried to calm him down. You never know when these kids are just being extra dramatic. Blake tried to get some food in his belly between screams. The behavior therapist said she just had one page left and asked if I wanted her to come back. No way. I don't care if someone's dying, we've been waiting for this for three months and we are finishing it. There were too many people screaming (Nate about his arm, Georgia scared for Nate, and Bo so sleepy he couldn't stand it), so I took Bo upstairs and he was asleep the instant I put him down. We finished up the assessment. (One of her questions was, "Does he throw tantrums when he's in physical pain?" We both looked at Nate, then looked at each other, and she just started writing.) As she was leaving, I asked her if she had kids. She said no. I told her to go home and enjoy the quiet. She will probably never have children. After she left, I was right behind her, taking Nate to the ER.
When we got to the ER, he had stopped screaming but was still whimpering a lot and refused to walk. (?) As we wheeled him to a room in a wagon, the nurse asked him what happened. He talked nonstop "I was in the basement with my sister, and I was going up the stairs, but I decided to go back down, and I was on the third step, but I think I must have been on my tippy toes and I lost my balance and fell. It hurted worse than when I hit my nose, it hurt worse than anything ever. Mama gave me one tylenol ...." The nurse and I were trying to not laugh. When they sent him to xray, he told the xray tech he looked like the guy from Lady Antebellum. Sure enough, he broke his elbow. His elbow! They put a splint on it, which basically looks exactly like a cast but it's softer on one side to make room for any swelling. He did NOT want a cast and kept saying people would laugh at him and make fun of him. I assured him that people would think he was brave. As we were leaving the ER, he looked at the receptionists and lifted his splint and said, "Pretty funny lookin, huh?" The next day I stayed home with him but we had to go get a prescription filled and went to lunch with Blake. By then, let's just say he did not mind the attention. When he was sitting in a booth at McDonalds, he said, "Mama, no one can see my cast! I need for people to see it!"
***
So there you go, my funny kids. When they're not driving me crazy, they're making me laugh and melting my heart.
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