The birth of Bo!

Thursday, Aug. 23 was the big day. Blake and I woke up early, and my parents got here to watch the kids until Nicole could get here to get Nate ready for school. Here's the last picture of the pregnant belly. Blake said it was my biggest pregnant belly yet.

 

At the hospital, we were in triage for a couple of hours getting my IV, answering questions, meeting the doctors, etc. I warned everyone that I always, always get sick with anesthesia, so they took every measure possible to help prevent that.

I didn't remember the c-section being so unpleasant. The spinal block was difficult to get in, every medication made me nauseous, and I was just generally uncomfortable and concentrating on not throwing up. By the time they let Blake in, I said, "I'm so glad we're not doing this again."

Eventually it was baby time! They held him up over the curtain, and he was huge! I was expecting a tiny baby like Nate and Georgia, but this kid had fat rolls! I had told everyone that he would be 7 pounds tops. I even dug out a couple of Nate's old preemie sleepers to bring to the hospital in case the newborn ones were too big. Blake went over to him while they were cleaning him up and I was straining to listen to what they were saying. I heard, "20 inches ... 8-12." I say, "8-12?! What is that, his weight?!" This child was 8 pounds, 12 ounces.

They were also assessing his breathing. His cries sounded more like Nate's (meowing) than Georgia's (loud screams). They said he needed some oxygen and would need to go to the NICU to get checked out. You can see he looks a little dusky in the pictues.

They did bring him over to me to give kisses, and he was so fat and soft. :) At this point, I was feeling awful. I guess I was losing more blood than my doctor wanted me to. She also did a tubal ligation while putting me back together.

 

In the NICU, he needed a nasal cannula and a little oxygen. Apparently they did a chest x-ray and gave him antibiotics, but he didn't have pneumonia. In the meantime, I was in recovery with my mom and Mindy, and then back to a postpartum room to work on feeling stable and moving my lower body enough to get in a wheelchair.

I think it was about 4 hours before I felt well enough to take a ride to the NICU.

But mama was lucky enough to get to hold him for the first time, and see him open his eyes for the first time. :)

Because he was in the NICU, the kids could not go up to see him that evening. They were fine with it--they were just so excited that grandparents were in town and they could come visit me. It was a big exciting day!

 

 

Uncle Lucas and soon-to-be Aunt Amy came to visit that evening, and I went up again with them. Then by night I got some of my wires and tubes off and felt well enough to walk up there all by myself and deliver some milk! He was not allowed to eat anything though while on oxygen (still not sure why that rule). The next morning when I went up, they told me they had taken the oxygen off of him at midnight, and the doctors said I could try to nurse him. So I did! And he did great! He's a natural.

The next morning while Nate was at school, Georgia came with Blake to visit me for a little while.

 

Blake and I went back up to the NICU again, and I was able to nurse him again. After that, he was cleared to go to the regular nursery and hang out in my room!

The kids came over after Nate got out of school to welcome him to my room and meet him for the first time.

They were very interested in looking at him from afar, but didn't want to get too close. They were a little intimidated.

Getting a family picture was a huge undertaking. Everyone was looking different ways, the kids were making funny faces ... I guess that's life for the next several years!

 

Friday night, Bo roomed in with me. This kid woke up every 15 minutes fussing about something. I felt so bad for him because it seemed he was having belly issues, but I was also so crazy tired! Welcome back to life with a newborn! Of course as soon as it was daylight he slept like a log.

 

Memaw stayed with the kids Saturday and later came to the hospital to meet Bo. Uncle Brian, Aunt Sunny, and Koko came to meet him too. He also had his hospital photos that day.

 

On Sunday we got Bo all dressed up in his coming home outfit, I got showered and ready to leave, and we packed up the room. The pediatrician discharged Bo, and then the doctor on duty from my OB office came by to check me out. I told her I was having headaches, just like when I was breastfeeding Georgia. She started asking me questions, and one thing led to another, and she wanted blood work to check for post-partum HELPP syndrome. The blood work came back a little off, and the nurse shocked me when she said the doctor wanted to keep me another night! Oh no! I was not expecting that at all. Better safe than sorry, I guess.

 By the next morning, my blood work looked better, we put Bo's coming home outfit back on him :) and by late afternoon we were finally able to come home. The kids go about their usual business, but stop every now and then to check on Bo and ask questions about him. For example, this morning Georgia said, "Why is he still here?" I said, "Because he lives here!"

Now there. That looks like a complete family. :) Welcome to the crazy family, Bowen Robert!

Dear Baby Bo

It's 10:30 pm on the night before you are to be born by scheduled c-section. I'm eating a bowl of popcorn because I'm not supposed to eat or drink after midnight. Before we meet tomorrow, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on my pregnancy with you. For nearly 9 months now, it's been just you and me. Tomorrow I will have to share you. :)

It hasn't been my easiest pregnancy. It hasn't been my hardest either. Nate takes that prize. But after my pregnancy with Georgia, I thought my body just handled pregnancy really well. Add in taking care of your two siblings and a full time job and the hottest summer on record ... it wasn't so easy this time. I've been tired. I've been uncomfortable. I've had really bad heartburn. And vertigo! That's a new one! How did you make that happen? My feet have swollen up to 3 times their normal size. A few weeks ago I decided I would resign myself to wearing my favorite flip flops every single day, even with dress clothes to work, and while I was just sitting at my desk, one of the straps popped off. I felt like the hulk. I had to buy new shoes, in a bigger size, and they are still too small. I really hope my feet go back to their original size. Tonight my feet are especially bad. Your daddy is horrified and is not hiding it well.

I've had some interesting cravings. During the first trimester, you only wanted fruits and vegetables. I couldn't eat unhealthy even if I tried. You wanted salad and watermelon and pineapple. I ate so much pineapple! Then it started giving me heartburn.  By the second trimester, you mellowed a little and allowed me some sweets. That's when I started craving banana pudding. There's a Kroger down the road from work that had pretty awesome banana pudding. And miraculously, Chik-Fil-A came out with a banana pudding milkshake. I also ate more Taco Bell Nachos Bel Grande than I have in all the years since college. And in this last trimester, my only real craving has been ice. I need ice all the time. Probably a little anemic, sorry.

Thankfully, the one really cool thing my body does is not gain much weight during pregnancy. Last check I had gained 8 pounds. You wouldn't be able to tell it by looking at me though--I have had this ridiculously large belly, showing pretty good since about 16-18 weeks. At 37 weeks, I get looks of horror and amusement when I am out and about. The Shrek feet probably don't help.

I have to admit, I've had an underlying anxiety my whole pregnancy with you. A couple of times I realized I was just waiting for something bad to happen. I felt like a ticking time bomb. Mainly I was worried you would be premature or that my uterus would just pop open at some point. I'm so relieved that you have stayed put and look healthy, and I'm confident in your safe delivery tomorrow. I guess I finally realized, thanks to some good friends, that all this fear is just a lack of faith. Do I trust God? Do I really know that he loves you even more than I do? Yes, I trust God. I have no reason to fear.

About your name: Bowen Robert. Bowen was my last name until I married your daddy. It's pretty cool having a maiden name that you can give a child for a first name. Last year I was listening to the radio, and there was some Christian singer, I can't even remember who now, who said he had two little boys named Bo and Tate. I thought that was the cutest thing ever. Then I realized I already had a Nate and all I needed was a Bo. I don't think our family would have ever been complete without a Bo! Just fyi, Bowen was on our list of names each pregnancy. It was our leading name with baby #1, but when we saw Nate on ultrasound, he just did not look like a Bo. He looked like a Nate. It was also on the list for #2 had she been a boy. I was so glad I could finally use your name the 3rd go round ... and that you looked like a Bo on ultrasound!

Your middle name, Robert, is after a very special man you'll never meet. Daddy's stepfather, Bob/GrandBob, died way too young from cancer last year. He was a good man, and we promise to tell you about your namesake. I don't really know how things work up in heaven. Maybe you've already met him.

I can't wait to see who you look like. Whether you have red hair like me and Nate or brown hair like Daddy and Georgia. It sure would be a shock if you had blonde hair! Honestly, we'll all be surprised if you have much hair at all. Nate and Georgia were both pretty much bald for the first year.

Oh, your brother and sister are so excited to meet you!!! It's going to be Nate's 3rd day of first grade, so he wants to go to school and then come to the hospital right after school to see you. He says he's going to help by changing your diapers. We'll see! I have to warn you that Georgia will probably be your second mommy. She is always trying to hug you through my belly and talk to you and hear what you have to say. She says she's going to feed you bottles and give you your paci when you cry. Keep an eye on those pacis. She only stopped taking one a few months ago, and I see the way she looks at the ones we've bought you! They are great kids, and you're so lucky to have them as your siblings. If you decide to like trains, you'll fit right in.

Well, kid, I have to get up really early in the morning to go to the hospital to meet you. I'm going to try to get some rest, but I know I probably won't sleep much. Take it easy on me in the next few weeks, ok? I really don't do well with sleep deprivation. And just go along with the nursing thing without giving me too much trouble. It will be easier on both of us. I love you before I've even met you! See you tomorrow, baby boy.

Love,
Mama

Our week in Cincinnati

This is a pretty private topic for Nate, but it's also an important subject in the Spina Bifida world and marks a big change for our whole family. So I'll do the best I can in respecting Nate's privacy as well as letting everyone understand this challenge.
Because Nate has Spina Bifida, he gets constipated very easily and then has accidents. We have tried many, many methods of helping him stay healthy and clean, but nothing has worked. Several months ago I started hearing about Cincinnati Children's Hospital's Colorectal Center, which is the first and only place in the world that has a well staffed, comprehensive program that is 95% successful in helping children achieve bowel continence. It took a few months for the stars to align, mainly because this program requires you to spend over a week in Cincinnati. We did it this month.

Nate and I went by ourselves on a Thursday. He had to have a test that looked at his belly and also cleaned him out good. The next morning we went to an orientation, had a belly x-ray, and met with a doctor and a nurse who got us started on an enema program. About the trip itself, I actually really enjoyed it. Sometimes Nate and I go to his appointments just us, and I love that time. We spent the night in a hotel and had a great heart to heart talk about starting this potty program. He didn't want to, but we talked about all the advantages of it and he seemed to start to see the benefits. We agreed that now that he's six and getting ready for first grade, it's time to get him clean.

Friday evening we came back home after a really long day at the hospital, stopping at two pharmacies for supplies, and a 2 hour drive home. And then we had to do our first enema that night. It was a disaster. I couldn't get it to work, and Nate was so upset by the whole experience. We all ended up in tears, and we were unsuccessful to boot. We gave up for the night. The next morning we tried again, and this time, Nate was totally unwilling to cooperate. He was begging me not to do this to him. It was absolutely heartbreaking. In a moment of desperation, I offered to buy him an iPad, and he declined. :) I had to ask Blake to come home from work, and we convinced Nate that the problem the night before was me and that daddy could do it better. He finally agreed. We had to do two that day and one more Sunday morning--this isn't typical, just an effort to get him cleaned out good.

On Sunday we went back to Cincinnati, this time with my mom and Georgia with us. Monday through Friday, every day we did his enema first thing, then went to the hospital for a belly x-ray and gave a report to our nurse about any accidents, how it went, etc. After that, we could have some fun.

We went swimming in the hotel pool a couple of times. This pool was freezing!!! Nate didn't care--he was a little fish. Georgia sat on the top step the whole time and had a blast.

We went to the zoo one day, and it was HOT!!! So miserably hot. But both kids touched an alligator.

We went to the aquarium one day.

And Nate's favorite, of course, was the day we went to the train museum!

Here he is enjoying some hospital cafeteria pudding. :)

Every morning, it was a struggle to get Nate to cooperate with the enema, but we used bribery to coerce him. :) If he would do it without (much) complaining, he would get a special treat that day--a new "pet" from the gift shop at the aquarium, ice cream at the zoo, etc. Despite the fact that he didn't like it, the program was very successful! He was basically clean the entire week! Every day the doctors reviewed his belly x-ray, and a couple of times we tweaked what would go in the enema (saline and varying amounts of glycerine soap). I reminded him all week how nice it was to not have to worry about accidents.

We came home on Friday, and Nate is much less resistant to the enema program. We used bribery at first, but now just the prospect of getting to text with daddy while he sits on the potty is enough to get him to run upstairs. :) He has a blast texting poop jokes with daddy.

It's been a big adjustment for all of us. For a long time, we had hopes that we would be able to handle this issue with less ... this isn't really the exact word, but something like ... invasive measures. Something a little more "normal." But we know we tried everything and this is what has to be done now. For us, this is the new normal. It was difficult to watch him struggle with this at first, and it's so much easier on us now that he doesn't mind it. Still, it's been stressful. We've had to adjust to doing a one-hour bathroom routine every night. And in a weird, irrational way, it's felt like admitting defeat to Spina Bifida. But I know that defeat would be not doing anything about this problem and allowing him to stay in a pull up indefinitely. We're fighting back.

I can't say enough good things about this Colorectal Clinic. We wouldn't have known where to even start without them. They say we can come back in a year or two and try a different program. But for now, this one works well. If you'd like to read more about it, you can see an overview and more in-depth info here: http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/service/c/colorectal/treatments/bowel-management/

I'm still recovering from last week, but I'm happy with how relatively quickly Nate and all of us have adjusted to the new routine. Progress!

Georgia's Third Birthday!

I wish she could stay 2 a little longer because 2 has been so sweet, but I'm loving watching this little girl grow! Today was Georgia's 3rd birthday. We decided earlier this summer that we wouldn't do big birthday parties, but instead we went on a family weekend to a waterpark and then had a little birthday dinner at home for both Nate and Georgia. July 31 is Georgia's big day. :)

We went to the store the other day to pick out what kind of cake she wanted. It was very hard for her to understand why we couldn't just bring a cake home with us then! It was also a difficult choice among her favorite characters: Barbie, Dora, or Hello Kitty. Kitty won! (The birthday girl may have poked a finger in the icing to try it out.)

Look at that posing!

Look at Nate, haha!

Cake mouth

She got a Mermaid Barbie to go with the Barbie movie she's been watching the last few weeks.

She also got a Hello Kitty movie, and then a bicycle helmet. She was like, "But I don't have a bike."

Well now you do!

Happy birthday to my big 3 year old! She is so sweet and funny, and I love her more every day!

Waterpark pictures!

We went to a waterpark for Nate and Georgia's birthdays, and all I used was a little waterproof disposable camera. Not the best quality, but they're pretty cute!

He loves swimming underwater. Usually his eyes are open though!

Nate got brave enough this time to go down one of the bigger kid slides!

Georgia has loosened up a little since then (about a month ago), but she really didn't like water much when we went to the waterpark. She wanted to swing in this little baby swing the whole time. One time I told her I was going to fall asleep if I had to push her in this swing any more.

Headstand?

Summer so far

I am tired. This pregnancy plus this busy summer is kicking my butt. So here's a recap.

First, Nate graduated from Kindergarten, and I totally didn't expect to cry through the whole thing! It all started when the teacher leading the thing started talking about "your babies are first graders now." Not cool, Miss Stone! They all got to walk across the stage and get their certificates, and then they sang a couple of songs, and it was all very cute. Nate had the option of coming home early but he wanted to stay at school and finish his work. :)

The next week began the kids' very busy summer schedule. My goal for the summer was to give the kids opportunities to get out of the house and get interested in activities, and also to give them time to just hang out at home playing and doing a bunch of nothing. I don't know that I hit the right balance, but so far so good.

On Mondays, Georgia has dance class. It's a class of 2 year olds, and she's probably the oldest 2 year old in the class. Georgia loves everything about it--the outfits she gets to wear, Miss Audra the ballerina, prancing around doing new dances, etc. While most of the other little girls are just running around like toddlers do or throwing tantrums, Georgia is paying very close attention to Miss Audra and trying to do exactly what she does. When we signed up, I didn't realize I had to be in class with her every week. But I usually just stand back and watch her because she does so well. I think we'll move her on to 3 year old dance after this class is over.

On Tuesday mornings, Nate has swim class. Nate LOVES swim class. He loves swimming period. I took him to a trial class to make sure it was a good fit for him, and he smiled from ear to ear the entire time. Afterwards, the instructor told me that Nate could stay in that class because even though he wasn't quite as strong as the other kids at that level, he doesn't have any fear and is totally comfortable in the water. He thought he might need to do this level class a couple of times before moving on. He's not swimming independently yet, but he's pretty close. I've been swimming with him a few times this summer, and he does a lot on his own. Nicole laughs because when he's in the water, he's constantly dunking his head to look under water. This was from his first class of the summer.

Then on Tuesday afternoons, Nate is taking piano lessons. Oh my. Nate loves the piano, but he mostly just bangs on it and calls it a concert. He tries to make up little songs, and sometimes it even sounds decent. He really wanted to take piano lessons to learn to play real songs. But I don't think he realized piano lessons are nothing like his jam sessions at home. The first day, the teacher kept the piano closed most of the time and talked mostly about how to sit at the piano, the numbers of each of his fingers, etc. He kept saying, "Why aren't we playing the piano?" So far she is only working with him on the black keys, and he's very frustrated by this. I have a hard time even watching these piano lessons because he is so distracted and doesn't listen well and just tries to do his own thing. I can tell she gets frustrated with him, but she keeps plodding along. I'm not sure we will continue piano lessons after this summer. :)

On Wednesday mornings, Nate has handwriting tutoring. I found a tutor who does a program called Handwriting Without Tears, which comes highly recommended by everyone. This woman is an OT in a nearby school district during the year, but agreed to tutor Nate this summer. I really like the program, but of course this isn't Nate's favorite activity. She makes it fun for him and he doesn't mind the tutoring sessions so much, But he's supposed to do 5 minutes of homework every night, and we usually end up doing all of it in one or two sessions (bad mama), and it takes a really long time. So he doesn't like the homework. But I think his handwriting is improving some. I'm also thinking about putting him in a handwriting camp at the end of this month. That's really our biggest concern with first grade, so we're trying to do all we can to get him caught up a little.

On Wednesday afternoons, Georgia has swim class, and this one is a mommy and me class. Only for my kids would I be getting my pregnant butt in a swimsuit on a weekly basis. But unlike Nate, Georgia is afraid of the water and really needs exposure to it. When we go each week, she is usually clinging to me for dear life for the first part of the class, but she gets braver. She's doing great actually with the swimming and is warming up to getting her face wet. She still hates going underwater, but we're working on it. This is a picture of her ready to get in the sprinkler at Memaw's house. She really likes wearing cute swimsuits better than swimming.

On Thursdays Nate still has OT and PT, and Fridays are usually free unless we have to reschedule handwriting for that day. Add in doctor appointments, hair cuts, and all the other stuff that creeps up, and it's a really busy schedule to keep up with. But the kids are having fun and learning some new things.

There have been a few other noteworthy events of the summer so far ...

We went to the zoo with Granna and Pop.

We went to a wheelchair racing clinic at SBAK.

In another step toward becoming a big girl, Georgia gave up the paci. Not without a fight! But she did it, and the paci fairy brought her a new baby in exchange for the pacis. After the first couple of days of asking for it every now and then, she's done great, and I'm glad it's gone!

I have gotten bigger.

We went on a little weekend trip to a water park and to see trains.

Nate turned 6! This is the first year we haven't had a big party with a house full of people. It was very different, but it was nice. We tried to make it very special for him. It seems impossible that Nate is 6 years old!

And for the last part of June, I went to the Spina Bifida Association National Conference, held in Indianapolis this year. This was my 3rd year going to conference, and as usual I loved every minute. It was so much fun getting to meet people I have only known through message boards or Facebook for a long time, but we already knew each other so well. One of the highlights of the conference for me was getting to present a project to other SBA chapter leaders on my "Delivering the Diagnosis" project, which was originally my thesis project and informs doctors and expectant parents about Spina Bifida. It's now a national program!!! I am so proud! I also learned a lot from the sessions and other people I met there. I think the major thing I took away from conference this year was to really work on independence skills with Nate. Those sometimes come harder for kids with Spina Bifida, but they make a huge difference in their lives. It's also important for parents to back off at some point. For example, I saw a man about 25-30 years old using a wheelchair and going through the breakfast line. His mother was behind him and pointed out the strawberries. He says, "I'm not really a strawberry guy. I'm more of a watermelong guy," as he put some watermelon on his plate. His mother said, "I am encouraging you to eat at least one strawberry." Oh lord, I thought. Note to self--back off on the overbearing parenting when your kid is old enough to grow a beard.

So there's June in a nutshell. At the end of this month we'll be traveling for a week-long appointment for Nate at Cincinnati Children's Hospital's Colorectal Clinic. And in August we'll be having a baby! Whoever called summer a "break" obviously didn't live at the Payne house.