For Spina Bifida Awareness Month, some friends and I shot videos of our kids lip syncing to Shake it Off. It turned out so cute! Thanks to all the great people who did videos, and a big thanks to Karla Klementina for putting it together! Take that Spina Bifida!
Monday, October 6, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Nate the Great T-shirt!
Whether you love the children's story or love our Nate Payne or both--you have to have your own Nate the Great T-shirt! All proceeds go to our 2014 Walk-N-Roll for Spina Bifida Team, which is aptly named Team Nate the Great!
This is a pre-order. You have until October 7 to order your shirts, then I will place the order with the printer. Shirts will arrive about two weeks later, in time for the Walk-N-Roll on Oct. 25!
If you live outside of Louisville and would like your shirt shipped to you, please order on this page. If you live in Louisville or do not want your shirt shipped to you, please send me a message on Facebook or to ecolleenpayne@gmail.com letting me know how many T-shirts you would like, and which sizes (so you will not pay shipping).
Shirts are available in Youth sizes S-XL ($13), Adult sizes S-XL ($15), and Adult sizes 2X-4X ($17). Shipping is $2.50 per shirt.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
The Spinning Adventure of Nate and the Teacups
Nate has been working hard on a personal narrative at school (2nd grade). He brought it home today for us to proofread together.
The Spinning Adventure of Nate and the Teacups
Meet the Author: Hi, My name is Nate Austin Payne. That's why my anitial is A. When I grow up, I'm gonna be a Rockstar or a train Engineer. I love trains so I almost think I agree to be a Train Engineer. My favorite subject is Stations, Art, and Science. My home is in Kentucky (omitting address because this is the internet). I have a sister named Georgia Anne payne, A brother named Bowen Robert Payne, A dad named Blake Austin Payne, and a mom named Erin Colleen payne (which is the manager of the Spina Bifida Association of Kentucky (which doesn't have a o for SBAK.
Note from Colleen to explain that last part: He thinks the "of" in Spina Bifida Association of Kentucky should be represented in the acronym. So, SBAOK. Which is cute.
 |
| That really looks like Blake. |
One day in Magic Kingdom in Adventureland I was on the teacups at Disneyland. We yelled WOOOOH!!!! louder when we spun faster. We rode on it three times. Our teacup was pink with a yellow fat curvy line around the oval teacup. It was blue inside and purple on the bottom vase. I turned the wheel, then my sister than daddy. The music was with violins, pianos, trumpets, bongos, a tuba, and a mandoline.
First one we didn't go as fast as daddy can. Second time we didn't have time to. And the 3rd time we had time to do it. Our setting was like in a beautiful, colorful pentagon circus. My belly and back tickled more ticklish when we went faster and faster. When we were going around the maze I walked on the wooden edges and held onto the fence. It looked like a giant snake going round, round, and round. The Mad tea party first said, "Enjoy the ride" and then it did it in french or spanish. And when we were spinning with royal music it was like our part was the WOOOH! of the song of opra.
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| That's us on the monorail. |
The whole family planned to go on the Mad tea party first. We danced to the music as we were watching and waiting in line. But finnally we had to go to another ride. We played all day and then took a break, Then played some more, and then we took the Navy Blue Monorail that is white with yellow triangle doors back to our calypso All Star Music Hotel. On the teacups I felt almost like I was gonna fall off!
Night night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite! we whispered.
Message: Anytime you are excited and you want to do something like 1000 times, calm down so we can do other fun stuff that we have checked.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
A Wednesday in the Life
I just found a draft of a blog post I wrote in September 2013 that I for some reason never published. I had a good time re-reading it (although it made me tired), and I figured I should finally post it for posterity's sake.
Our parents tell us that, although they love spending time with the kids, it's exhausting because they aren't used to quite that much energy and constant child-minding. I guess you have to build up to it, but it's still tiring for us too. With small children, there's just no break. I joke that when I leave work, I'm heading to the second shift. Home is harder work than work, no question. Don't get me wrong--I love it (most parts). But it's just ... a lot.
Then I think about how when Blake and I are our parents' age, will we look back on this time as the best time of our lives, when our children are little? Will I remember the chaos, or just the giggles and snuggles? One of my favorite things about blogging is when I can go back and read things that happened even last year that I would have forgotten had I not written them down. So for that reason, I thought I would document a day in our crazy life.
7:12 am--After pressing the snooze button three times, I finally got up and showered.
7:37 am--I woke up Nate and Georgia. Nate was actually in a good mood this morning, which is very unusual. Unfortunately, Georgia was in a terrible mood. So they basically switched personalities. Bo woke up when he heard us, so I handed him off to Blake, who took him downstairs and started making breakfast for the kids. I had Nate and Georgia visit the bathroom, got them dressed, brushed their hair, and sent them downstairs. Georgia screamed like I was murdering her when I brushed her hair, then she screamed even louder when she thought Nate was going to bump into her as he skidded down the stairs on his butt behind her. I stayed upstairs to finish getting ready for work while the kids ate breakfast. Eggos, strawberries and grapes, and milk for the big kids. A pancake, two handfuls of cheerios, and half a waffle he swiped from Georgia's plate for Bo.
8:10 am--I came downstairs and poured a bowl of cereal, but I had to get up between nearly every bite as kids needed stuff, the baby was crying, I was getting stuff ready for school, etc. The dining room table and kitchen island were covered with junk, so I was trying to clear things off because I knew we would have one of Nate's therapists over that afternoon. Every week, I apologize and make excuses for the mess, but after like three months of seeing like that every week, you run out of excuses and have to just admit "we live like this."
8:23 am--"Nate, the bus will be here any minute!" He was still eating. I brushed his teeth. Then I realized his shirt wasn't tucked in, he wasn't wearing a belt, and he didn't have his shoes on! I ran around frantically looking for two shoes and two braces, yelling, "Where are your shoes!!!! Help me find your shoes! You're going to be late for the bus!" Which didn't help, because Nate just stood there helplessly asking if the bus would leave him and I found his shoes. Then I realized he had tied knots in them! Panic!!
8:35 am--The bus finally got here and Nate happily got on and Georgia and I waved to him from the sidewalk. Then it was time to get Bo dressed. I finished cleaning up a bit and got everything together for Georgia to take to school and Bo to take to Bekah's.
8:53 am--Aack! In my attempt to not get Georgia to school TOO early (they won't get her out of the car rider line until 8:50), I have wasted too much time and will now be late! Panic again! Everyone in the car!
9:02 am--Drop Georgia off at the last possible minute before all the car rider line attendants go inside. Whew! That was a little too close.
9:15 am--Drop Bo off at Bekah's house. He loves his Bekah! He gets so excited when he gets there, and he loves the other kids there. Exhale and drive to work in solitude.
9:40 am--Get to work. We have two of our biggest events coming up in the next two weeks. This Saturday is our motorcycle run, and in two weeks is our Walk. We are working hard on both events. One of the reasons I love my job is that it's a small shop and I get to do lots of different things in a day. For example, today I worked on a press release, wrote some radio promos, designed a meme (so fun), talked to a few sponsors, talked with my boss about a plan for handling cash at this weekend's event, chatted with a couple adults with SB.
2 p.m.--Nate's support broker (deals with our Medicaid waiver) called and said Nate's staff person this summer did not put the right pay rate on her time sheet, so they had to pay her at a much higher rate than we had planned. The support broker acted like this was my fault, that I didn't fill out a new contract for her at the beginning of the summer. Um, that's why I told you, "This is what we want to pay her" and you said, "Ok, that's fine." It's your job to keep up with the endless paperwork for Medicaid. I told her we did that rate for a reason, and if they are just paying her at a much higher rate, our budget will run out by the end of the year! She thinks it will be fine. Grrr! I really hate it when other people's mistakes threaten what we have planned.
3:20 p.m.--Oh, I have plenty of time to get downtown for my big important meeting. WAIT! I forgot, the appointment is actually at 3:30! Panic!!! Pray! Park in the parking garage and start speedwalking while searching my emails on my phone about the room number for the meeting and realize ... Oh, it actually is at 4. I have time to kill now. :)
4 p.m.--Have a meeting about funding and partnership. It was not at all what I expected it to be, and I walked out of their with my head spinning.
5 p.m.--Drive home in rush hour. Call my mom and talk to her on the way home, like I do every day.
5:30 p.m.--Got home to the second shift. Nicole picks up Bo and Georgia every day and meets Nate's bus at our house so they are all home when I get there. On Wednesdays, we always have an appointment with Nate's behavior therapist, and Georgia has dance. I usually do the therapist meeting with Nate, and Blake comes home to take Georgia to dance. Today he forgot, and Georgia was already in her dance costume. I thought she would be super disappointed, but by the time I got there she was fine. She wanted to tell me all about her day at school. Bo was so sleepy and cried and complained about everything. Nate was in the bathroom and then came out naked from the waist down and everyone told him to put some pants on. I was starving because I hadn't really eaten lunch, so I grabbed a banana but Bo decided he wanted it and threw a fit until he got some. I tried to teach him to say banana. Georgia kept telling me stories about her day. Nate needed help getting dressed. And I was desperately trying to talk to the behavior therapist about her visit to Nate's school to observe him last week. The kids decided to go outside, and I started making the quickest dinner I could come up with--scrambled eggs, sausage links, and cinnamon rolls. I did get to talk to the therapist some, and we made a plan for what to suggest to Nate's teacher about a little issue at school. I got dinner on the table and started the kids eating, made Bo a bottle and sat on the couch to feed him as she left.
7 p.m.--Made the kids promise they wouldn't yell for me while I took Bo upstairs to rock him and put him in bed. He fought it for a minute but then settled down and laid his head on my chest. Ahhh. That was the first quiet, restful moment I'd had since getting home. I stayed there a little longer than necessary because it was so nice snuggling with a sleepy baby. I put him in his crib, he laid face down with his butt in the air and went to sleep.
7:20 p.m.--Prepared for Nate's nightly bathroom routine. I went down to get him, but then I saw my neighbor outside and went out to chat because they are moving tomorrow. Nate and Georgia saw some neighbor kids playing outside and Nate took off running with them but Georgia stayed with me because they had their big dog with them. This set our routine back more than I liked, but sometimes I have to remember to stop and talk to neighbors even at the expense of throwing off our routine.
7:45 p.m.--Finally got the kids inside and upstairs. I started Nate's bathroom routine and started going through both of the kids' backpacks for homework, papers to sign, newsletters, etc. I helped him with his homework--reading a book for about 20 minutes, and then coming up with three text-to-self examples. I had to look that up on Wikipedia to know what that even meant.
8:45 p.m.--Blake got home and started to put the kids to bed.
9:30 p.m.--I finished up little loose ends to get us ready for school tomorrow and got ready for bed. I climbed in bed with my laptop. I ordered Nate's school pictures, checked my email accounts, looked at Facebook, checked on my Spina Bifida babycenter group and answered several posts.
11:28 p.m.--Lights out!
12:15 a.m.--Maggie needs to go out.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Bo at one
Today Bo is one! This is what he can do:
Say dada, Georgia (jaja), hi, bye bye (dye dye), cheerio (eerio), and choo choo.
Everyone in the family loves this little guy so much! He's sweet and lovable, funny and feisty, and always smiling! Happy first birthday, little Bo!
Say dada, Georgia (jaja), hi, bye bye (dye dye), cheerio (eerio), and choo choo.
Wave bye bye ... at himself, cause that's how it looks when people wave at him. Adorable.
Sign "more." (We're working on thanks and water.)
Crawl (often with two hands, a knee, and a foot), cruise along furniture, and take about a step on his own as of yesterday.
Eat ANYTHING with four little teeth. A common breakfast is an entire banana and two pancakes.
Climb upstairs faster than you can catch him.
Remove the batteries from the TV remote control in 2 seconds flat.
Give kisses.
Everyone in the family loves this little guy so much! He's sweet and lovable, funny and feisty, and always smiling! Happy first birthday, little Bo!
First day of school
Georgia told me everything that happened, and several things that didn't!
She had a purple folder!
Everyone loved her dress.
There was a baby there the same size as Bo, and his name was Bo, and it looked like Bo, and he cried a lot.
There was a fire and they had to go out to the playground, and the loud alarm scared the baby.
There were infinity bathrooms.
The toilets flush over and over again but she wasn't afraid of them.
The teacher had an important thing to tell them. It was: Do not mix the sand and the water.
They sang a song. (She made up a song right there about a little girl and a dress and Cinderella.)
She painted me a picture but it blew away on the playground.
She swung on a big girl swing.
She went to the lunchroom all by herself to eat and then came back to the classroom where all the other kids were.
If she stays on green all week she can pick a prize out of the prize box. There was a bracelet in there, and she's been needing a new bracelet.
The baby got in trouble and was put on yellow but got back on green before the end of the day.
There was a rest time and they laid on little beds. She didn't go to sleep. Some kids weren't quiet, but she was.
They sang karaoke, and she did a song called "One Little Lamb." (She made up the song right there, about a lamb and a baby, socks, sunglasses, lipstick, a purse, and a unicorn.)
As usual, Nate didn't have as much to tell.
Nate likes his teacher. The class doesn't go too fast (like she said it would).
He didn't have time to eat his KitKat at lunchtime, and he threw it in the trash. (sad face)
They went on a short walk on the sidewalk, but then it started raining so they stood in place and did yoga.
They did not do "sharing time" during their morning meeting, cause second graders are too old for that.
They learned about using dashes "on a date," which confused me at first, but I quickly figured out he means, "in dates."
So far everyone is loving school!
She had a purple folder!
Everyone loved her dress.
There was a baby there the same size as Bo, and his name was Bo, and it looked like Bo, and he cried a lot.
There was a fire and they had to go out to the playground, and the loud alarm scared the baby.
There were infinity bathrooms.
The toilets flush over and over again but she wasn't afraid of them.
The teacher had an important thing to tell them. It was: Do not mix the sand and the water.
They sang a song. (She made up a song right there about a little girl and a dress and Cinderella.)
She painted me a picture but it blew away on the playground.
She swung on a big girl swing.
She went to the lunchroom all by herself to eat and then came back to the classroom where all the other kids were.
If she stays on green all week she can pick a prize out of the prize box. There was a bracelet in there, and she's been needing a new bracelet.
The baby got in trouble and was put on yellow but got back on green before the end of the day.
There was a rest time and they laid on little beds. She didn't go to sleep. Some kids weren't quiet, but she was.
They sang karaoke, and she did a song called "One Little Lamb." (She made up the song right there, about a lamb and a baby, socks, sunglasses, lipstick, a purse, and a unicorn.)
As usual, Nate didn't have as much to tell.
Nate likes his teacher. The class doesn't go too fast (like she said it would).
He didn't have time to eat his KitKat at lunchtime, and he threw it in the trash. (sad face)
They went on a short walk on the sidewalk, but then it started raining so they stood in place and did yoga.
They did not do "sharing time" during their morning meeting, cause second graders are too old for that.
They learned about using dashes "on a date," which confused me at first, but I quickly figured out he means, "in dates."
So far everyone is loving school!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Interview with Nate--7 years old
Every year I like to interview the kids around their birthdays and compare from year to year. I'm a little late. Nate turned 7 on June 25. I cannot wrap my brain around him being this old. In my head he's still 5. I think the weirdest thing is that I can vividly remember being 7. It's so crazy, and a little intimidating, that he is going to remember so much of what's going on now. Like I could mess up a little before and he was too little for it to have any lasting damage, but not so now. :) It's kind of like a grace period to get your parenting stuff together ... and now it's over.
Anyway, I love talking with Nate cause he's so honest and thoughtful and funny. Here was our conversation tonight.
What is the coolest thing about being 7?
Nate: Getting new toys and stuff for my early birthday weekend.
Like what?
Nate: Boy stuff.
What do you think 2nd grade will be like?
Nate: I don't know. I never saw it yet. Wait, mama, I want you to change what I said, Ok? I think we'll have sleep time there, and I really think we're going to have to read the newspaper.
What will you do that's different than 1st grade?
Nate: We'll have to write more, and we'll have to write on harder paper than first graders' paper. Paper gets harder and harder until you're a grown up and it won't have to be school paper anymore. But it will just get a teeny bit harder every year.
What has been your best age so far?
Nate: Um, it's been 6, but now I love every age that I get, and I'm probably going to get used to being 7.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Nate: A train engineer. I might have to be a train engineer and a singer! I want to be a singer and a train engineer, will that be okay? I really want to be both.
Are you going to be married?
Nate: Yeah.
Who you going to marry?
Nate: I don't know yet.
What kind of girl do you think you like?
Nate: I don't know I just have to get a little bit older to see.
Georgia: I want to marry you!
Nate: You got to marry someone you don't know.
Where will you live?
Nate: I'll see when I'm a grown up.
But if you could live anywhere?
Nate: I don't know yet. I'll just have to buy a new car and stuff. I don't know how I'll get stuff yet.
What will be great about being a grown up?
Nate: I get to have kids! And I'll have a better house than this one.
Georgia: But Nate's kids might be wild! They might be mean to each other cause kids are mean sometimes.
Nate: I'll control them. I'm so excited cause when I'm a grown up I'll get to do whatever I want, like put them in timeout.
Anything else?
Nate: I can't wait to buy new vehicles. And the mom that I choose can pick out a car that's girlish, and I get to pick one that's boyish.
What do you like about being a kid?
Nate: I get to play with my sister.
Georgia: That's cool.
Nate: I get to snuggle with daddy. Mama, I don't like it cause you don't let us sleep in your bed, but daddy does. So, Mama, I think you should start doing that cause your covers are so soft it makes us want to stay in there. Mama, why don't you do that? Mama, why don't you do that? Mama, why don't you do that?
Anyway, I love talking with Nate cause he's so honest and thoughtful and funny. Here was our conversation tonight.
What is the coolest thing about being 7?
Nate: Getting new toys and stuff for my early birthday weekend.
Like what?
Nate: Boy stuff.
What do you think 2nd grade will be like?
Nate: I don't know. I never saw it yet. Wait, mama, I want you to change what I said, Ok? I think we'll have sleep time there, and I really think we're going to have to read the newspaper.
What will you do that's different than 1st grade?
Nate: We'll have to write more, and we'll have to write on harder paper than first graders' paper. Paper gets harder and harder until you're a grown up and it won't have to be school paper anymore. But it will just get a teeny bit harder every year.
What has been your best age so far?
Nate: Um, it's been 6, but now I love every age that I get, and I'm probably going to get used to being 7.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Nate: A train engineer. I might have to be a train engineer and a singer! I want to be a singer and a train engineer, will that be okay? I really want to be both.
Are you going to be married?
Nate: Yeah.
Who you going to marry?
Nate: I don't know yet.
What kind of girl do you think you like?
Nate: I don't know I just have to get a little bit older to see.
Georgia: I want to marry you!
Nate: You got to marry someone you don't know.
Where will you live?
Nate: I'll see when I'm a grown up.
But if you could live anywhere?
Nate: I don't know yet. I'll just have to buy a new car and stuff. I don't know how I'll get stuff yet.
What will be great about being a grown up?
Nate: I get to have kids! And I'll have a better house than this one.
Georgia: But Nate's kids might be wild! They might be mean to each other cause kids are mean sometimes.
Nate: I'll control them. I'm so excited cause when I'm a grown up I'll get to do whatever I want, like put them in timeout.
Anything else?
Nate: I can't wait to buy new vehicles. And the mom that I choose can pick out a car that's girlish, and I get to pick one that's boyish.
What do you like about being a kid?
Nate: I get to play with my sister.
Georgia: That's cool.
Nate: I get to snuggle with daddy. Mama, I don't like it cause you don't let us sleep in your bed, but daddy does. So, Mama, I think you should start doing that cause your covers are so soft it makes us want to stay in there. Mama, why don't you do that? Mama, why don't you do that? Mama, why don't you do that?
Nate, age 7
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Nine months old!
Hey guys. It's me, Bo.
So I can't believe it, but I'm nine months old today! Where does the time go? Seems like just yesterday I was drooling and crying like a little baby. Wait, that WAS yesterday!
I'm a pretty cool baby. At least my mom thinks so. I thought I'd tell you a little about myself.
I have a little hair, but the color is undeterminable. Could be blonde, red, or brown.
I have pretty blue eyes and eyelashes for miles.
My first tooth popped through this past weekend! I can't exactly chew stuff yet, but everyone is very excited.
I have just figured out how to army crawl about a foot in any direction and around in circles. It's so much harder than people carrying me everywhere, so I'm not thrilled with it, but I see the potential for grabbing my brother and sister's toys and getting into other trouble.
I really like pulling hair. A lot.
I'm still nursing when mama's around and I drink formula at the babysitter's house. I also eat stage 2 baby foods three times a day. I like fruit and sweet veggies the best, but I don't mind the green veggies either. Not a fan of the chicken and noodles baby food Daddy picked out.
I'm sleeping through the night now. It's what us big kids do. I sleep from about 8pm-6am and when I do occasionally wake up I don't usually need a snack anymore. It's pretty cool for everyone.
Smiling is my favorite! What can I say, I'm a happy boy! Except when I'm constipated.
For a baby, I give really great hugs. People love em.
I'm not proud of this, but I still like to be swaddled sometimes. I don't HAVE to be, but sometimes I choose to be, okay? Don't judge me.
I still like my wubbanub (pacifier) but only when really sleepy. We can probably do away with that soon. I'll be okay.
I say Da-Da a whole bunch, but never Ma-Ma. My favorite thing to say, though, is Eh. Eh eh eh EH! Eh! It can mean anything, really. Good morning, gimme that, look at that fish, etc. I also say it when Nate and Georgia are talking loud and I want to be like them.
It's been a fun nine months! But ... mama says I can have cake on my actual birthday. Come on, August!
So I can't believe it, but I'm nine months old today! Where does the time go? Seems like just yesterday I was drooling and crying like a little baby. Wait, that WAS yesterday!
I'm a pretty cool baby. At least my mom thinks so. I thought I'd tell you a little about myself.
I have a little hair, but the color is undeterminable. Could be blonde, red, or brown.
I have pretty blue eyes and eyelashes for miles.
My first tooth popped through this past weekend! I can't exactly chew stuff yet, but everyone is very excited.
I have just figured out how to army crawl about a foot in any direction and around in circles. It's so much harder than people carrying me everywhere, so I'm not thrilled with it, but I see the potential for grabbing my brother and sister's toys and getting into other trouble.
I really like pulling hair. A lot.
I'm still nursing when mama's around and I drink formula at the babysitter's house. I also eat stage 2 baby foods three times a day. I like fruit and sweet veggies the best, but I don't mind the green veggies either. Not a fan of the chicken and noodles baby food Daddy picked out.
I'm sleeping through the night now. It's what us big kids do. I sleep from about 8pm-6am and when I do occasionally wake up I don't usually need a snack anymore. It's pretty cool for everyone.
Smiling is my favorite! What can I say, I'm a happy boy! Except when I'm constipated.
For a baby, I give really great hugs. People love em.
I'm not proud of this, but I still like to be swaddled sometimes. I don't HAVE to be, but sometimes I choose to be, okay? Don't judge me.
I still like my wubbanub (pacifier) but only when really sleepy. We can probably do away with that soon. I'll be okay.
I say Da-Da a whole bunch, but never Ma-Ma. My favorite thing to say, though, is Eh. Eh eh eh EH! Eh! It can mean anything, really. Good morning, gimme that, look at that fish, etc. I also say it when Nate and Georgia are talking loud and I want to be like them.
It's been a fun nine months! But ... mama says I can have cake on my actual birthday. Come on, August!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
The shoulds
I'm not proud of this, but I have to admit that I am extremely critical of myself. I didn't use to be this way. One time I did a Bible study about how women talk to themselves so critically inside their heads, and I didn't relate to it at all. I have a pretty positive self-image, I thought to myself. But I guess when you add Three Kids and a Big Job, things start getting really real. I'll tell you my secret (which is probably not a secret to anyone): I'm in way over my head here. Not that this is helpful or an excuse in any way, but no one ever told me how much work having three kids is! Everyone (including myself) said, "Oh, the transition from one to two is harder than the transition from two to three" and "What's one more?" I'll tell you--it's a lot more! And I wouldn't trade anyone places for anything because I absolutely love my family and my life. I'm just sayin. Three kids is a lot of work. And my job? I am daily reminded that I am in many ways not qualified for it. I pray on my way to speaking engagements. I pray before employee evaluations. I pray for families when I don't know how to help them. And I pray before fundraising events that no one yells at me and I don't make a total fool of myself. Three Kids + Big Job = More than I can handle. Daily, I am humbled about not being enough.
Without even realizing it, this is my inner monologue:
I should keep this house cleaner.
I should do a load or two of laundry every night.
I should make a chore chart for the kids!
I should cook more often.
I should take my lunch every day.
I should eat less junk.
I should drink more water.
I should play outside with the kids more often.
I should be more intentional about teaching them about God.
I should read my Bible more.
We should be in church every Sunday.
We should travel more!
We should stay home more weekends.
I should sign the kids up for summer activities.
I should limit the kids' activities so they have more unstructured play time.
I should call my friends more.
I should be more patient with the kids.
I should do exercises and stretches with Nate at home.
I should spend more one on one time with Georgia.
I should sing and read to Bo more often, like I did with the other two.
I should work more hours.
I should be home with the family more.
We should save more money.
We should pay off debt!
We should give away more money to charity.
I should really buy a rug for the living room.
I should buy only local food.
I should plant a garden.
We should go to the movies more!
I should be more productive at work.
I should take the girls at work to lunch more often.
I should spend more time on programs.
I should spend more time on fundraising.
I should be more attentive to the babycenter message board I host.
I should blog more!
I should really work on those scrapbooks of the kids' photos.
I should take more photos of the kids.
I have a feeling I'm not alone in this. (Please tell me I'm not alone in this.) I think a lot of moms ... a lot of women ... a lot of people in general feel like they're never good enough. But where does this come from? Sometimes it might come from other people's criticisms. But if you're like me, you make a criticism out of something that's not a criticism. When Blake says, "We are so behind on laundry!" what I hear is "Why are you such a terrible house keeper?" when what he probably really means is "We are so behind on laundry!"
I can tell you for certain where it doesn't come from: God. That unkind, impatient, judgmental voice is not His! Remember--He MADE us. And I bet He doesn't appreciate us slamming his creation so intensely and flippantly and often. This evening, I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Full disclosure--it was jar spaghetti sauce and frozen meatballs, and we didn't even have parmesan cheese or garlic bread. It didn't taste very good. I especially didn't like the new "heart healthy" sauce we bought to try out. Be that as it may, I was insulted when Blake said he wasn't a fan of the "low fat" meatballs (mind you, he picked them out so it was in no way a dig at me) and the kids didn't eat much of their dinner. I knew it had its flaws, but I MADE that for them, however crappy it was. Think how much more that God is hurt when He knits us together so delicately and intricately, and then we go complaining about our thighs and lack of math aptitude.
You know what's one of my favorite characteristics of God? His grace. He is perfect and powerful and so holy that it's unfathomable to us, and yet He loves us anyway. The greatest love we can imagine is the love we have for our children, and God loves us even more than that--enough to sacrifice his son. If He can love me that much, I should probably cut myself a little slack.
But, I don't hear God telling me, "You're enough, Colleen. Within you lies everything you need to keep all those kids alive, raise them to be amazing people, keep your marriage together despite the challenges, lead a nonprofit, talk on TV and in front of large crowds, figure out how to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for it, and all the while keep up with the insurmountable laundry and dishes and hungry bellies I have entrusted to you." That's one thing I have right--I am not enough.
But He is. And He's there to whisper in my ear "Remember that verse 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me''? ALL THE THINGS includes dishes and public speaking and disciplining small children. I don't have to be enough, and it's such a relief to take that pressure off myself. Come to think of it, all these "shoulds" are not so much insecurity as they are arrogance! Ouch. Instead:
I will thank God for these blessings.
I will turn my complaints into prayers.
I will try to see myself as He sees me.
I will go start a load of towels, and as I pass the other four baskets of dirty laundry, I will tell that negative inner voice to hush it.
Without even realizing it, this is my inner monologue:
I should keep this house cleaner.
I should do a load or two of laundry every night.
I should make a chore chart for the kids!
I should cook more often.
I should take my lunch every day.
I should eat less junk.
I should drink more water.
I should play outside with the kids more often.
I should be more intentional about teaching them about God.
I should read my Bible more.
We should be in church every Sunday.
We should travel more!
We should stay home more weekends.
I should sign the kids up for summer activities.
I should limit the kids' activities so they have more unstructured play time.
I should call my friends more.
I should be more patient with the kids.
I should do exercises and stretches with Nate at home.
I should spend more one on one time with Georgia.
I should sing and read to Bo more often, like I did with the other two.
I should work more hours.
I should be home with the family more.
We should save more money.
We should pay off debt!
We should give away more money to charity.
I should really buy a rug for the living room.
I should buy only local food.
I should plant a garden.
We should go to the movies more!
I should be more productive at work.
I should take the girls at work to lunch more often.
I should spend more time on programs.
I should spend more time on fundraising.
I should be more attentive to the babycenter message board I host.
I should blog more!
I should really work on those scrapbooks of the kids' photos.
I should take more photos of the kids.
I have a feeling I'm not alone in this. (Please tell me I'm not alone in this.) I think a lot of moms ... a lot of women ... a lot of people in general feel like they're never good enough. But where does this come from? Sometimes it might come from other people's criticisms. But if you're like me, you make a criticism out of something that's not a criticism. When Blake says, "We are so behind on laundry!" what I hear is "Why are you such a terrible house keeper?" when what he probably really means is "We are so behind on laundry!"
I can tell you for certain where it doesn't come from: God. That unkind, impatient, judgmental voice is not His! Remember--He MADE us. And I bet He doesn't appreciate us slamming his creation so intensely and flippantly and often. This evening, I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Full disclosure--it was jar spaghetti sauce and frozen meatballs, and we didn't even have parmesan cheese or garlic bread. It didn't taste very good. I especially didn't like the new "heart healthy" sauce we bought to try out. Be that as it may, I was insulted when Blake said he wasn't a fan of the "low fat" meatballs (mind you, he picked them out so it was in no way a dig at me) and the kids didn't eat much of their dinner. I knew it had its flaws, but I MADE that for them, however crappy it was. Think how much more that God is hurt when He knits us together so delicately and intricately, and then we go complaining about our thighs and lack of math aptitude.
You know what's one of my favorite characteristics of God? His grace. He is perfect and powerful and so holy that it's unfathomable to us, and yet He loves us anyway. The greatest love we can imagine is the love we have for our children, and God loves us even more than that--enough to sacrifice his son. If He can love me that much, I should probably cut myself a little slack.
But, I don't hear God telling me, "You're enough, Colleen. Within you lies everything you need to keep all those kids alive, raise them to be amazing people, keep your marriage together despite the challenges, lead a nonprofit, talk on TV and in front of large crowds, figure out how to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for it, and all the while keep up with the insurmountable laundry and dishes and hungry bellies I have entrusted to you." That's one thing I have right--I am not enough.
But He is. And He's there to whisper in my ear "Remember that verse 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me''? ALL THE THINGS includes dishes and public speaking and disciplining small children. I don't have to be enough, and it's such a relief to take that pressure off myself. Come to think of it, all these "shoulds" are not so much insecurity as they are arrogance! Ouch. Instead:
I will thank God for these blessings.
I will turn my complaints into prayers.
I will try to see myself as He sees me.
I will go start a load of towels, and as I pass the other four baskets of dirty laundry, I will tell that negative inner voice to hush it.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
The mouse and a too bright sun
Nate has been using his ipad for some assignments at school since he broke his arm. Tonight I found this story he wrote last week. I just copied and pasted it straight from his notes, and added a line after each paragraph. The rest is all him.
The mouse and a too bright sun.
A few notes (from Colleen again):
The mouse and a too bright sun.
One day a mouse was going to a icy hill to skate down it. Once the mouse got there then his dad and mom came to catch him if he falls on the ice below and brake his joints and bones.
He started to skate down the icy hill but the sun was to bright. The ice started to brake. He sled faster and faster . And he couldn't stop! His parents were so suprised that they screamed "MOUSY I WILL TRY TO CATCH YOU!!!" He kept going faster. His parents screamed again "I WILL TRY IM SORRY THAT THE SUN IS TOO BRIGHT FOR YOU!" But once he got down the icy hill he broke his bones ! Mousy's parents drove him to the hospital as fast as the car would go. Soon they were there . The hospital bone doctor let Mousy go to sleep and glued his bones back together as hard as he could .
When Mousy woke up he said to the doctor "what's your name?" My name is Austin doctor , Austin answered . When they were going home the dad said we shouldn't of skated down that big icy hill. "That's okay"said Mousy, "Now I'm fixed WOOOOOOOOO!" Once Mousy got to the house, Mousy and his Dad played trains all day . While they did, Mousy said "this is so fun!" So let's add roads and cars so they did. And they had fun happily ever after.
A few notes (from Colleen again):
- Austin is Nate's middle name.
- It just so happens that Nate's class has been learning about bones and joints at the same time he broke his arm, AND we saw a really cool bone chart when we went to get him fitted for his new braces at the orthotist. He's really into bones now.
- I did not drive Nate to the hospital "as fast as the car would go" when he broke his arm! I know you were thinking that! I was driving the speed limit.
- Pretty sure Nate blames us for his broken arm! :)
- He still really likes trains.
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